Kids Ask Sparky the Fire Dog
by Sparky
May 11, 2009
Here’s your chance to ask me questions you may about safety. I’ll try to answer as many questions as I can, but I receive a lot of mail, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t see your question right away. Be sure to include your first name, your age, and your hometown.
(Q) How many firesdo you go to each year?
(A) Unfortunately, I go to way too may fires each year. What makes me sad is that most of those fires could have been prevented had people taken some simple safety precautions. Read the answer to my next question to find out simple safety steps you can take to be safe from fire.
(Q) How do fires start?
(A) All fires require fuel, heat, and oxygen. The fuel is anything that can burn. The heat can come from many things, such as a lighted match, a stove, or a heater. Oxygen is in the air, and that let’s the fire breathe and grow. Fires can start for many reasons. A lot of home fires start in kitchens where people are cooking. Many other home fires are caused by heating equipment. Home fires can also be caused by candles, electrical appliances, and cigarette butts. These are just a few examples of how fires can start. Fortunately, there are lots of simple steps you can take to prevent almost all fires. (Go up three questions to learn how you can keep your home safe from fire.
Source: Sparky the Fire Dog
Kids’ Talk
By D’Arcy Lyness, MD
May 11, 2009
Every kid (and adult) worries and feels stressed out sometimes. But what do kids do about it? We wanted to find out, so we asked 875 kids ages 9 to 13 to answer some questions about stress.
First, we let kids choose from a long list of stuff that might worry them. The top five things kids said they worried about were:
- 1. Grades, school, and homework – 36%
- 2. Family – 32%
- 3. Friends – 21%
- 4. Brothers and sisters – 20%
- 5. Mean or annoying people – 20%
Then we asked kids what they do during those times when they feel stressed or upset. Here are the top things kids said they do most often. (Kids who answered could say more than one thing, so these add up to more than 100%.)
Playing or doing something active – 52%- Listening to music – 44%
- Watching TV or playing a video game – 42%
That’s good news. Playing, listening to music, watching TV, or playing a video game are often good things to do if you’re stressed out. You get a chance to think about something else. Being active – like running around, playing a sport, or riding your bike – may be the best choice of all of these. Why? It’s a good way to let out some of that energy that builds up when a person is frustrated, mad, stressed, or upset. Plus, exercise releases chemicals in your brain that help improve your mood.
What Else Do Kids Do?
Here are some other ways kids said they often deal with feeling upset:
Talk to a friend. Right on! Friends can be good listeners and might know just what to say to make you laugh or feel a little better than you did before. Sometimes you might want to talk to a parent or another grown-up, too.
Try not to think about it. If it’s just a little thing that got you stressed, this can work fine. Sometimes it’s best not to let a little thing bother you. But if it’s a bigger problem, not thinking about it is probably not the best choice. It can be OK to take a break from worrying or stressing out about something, but pretending like it’s not a problem isn’t a good idea. Why? Because nothing changes and the problem might stick around – or get worse.
Try to work things out. A great idea! What could be better than trying to solve the problem? Even if you can’t solve the whole thing, with help, maybe you can start solving some part of it.
Eat something. Not such a good idea. Food’s fine when you’re truly hungry. But if you use food to help you feel better, you might eat more calories than you need and gain weight. It also doesn’t solve whatever problem upset you in the first place.
Lose my temper. Oh, dear. It’s OK to feel angry, but losing your temper and yelling and screaming is never a good idea. It also doesn’t help solve your problem – and can make matters worse.
Feel bad about myself. Oh, dear – again. Everyone has troubles and problems – that’s perfectly normal – but sometimes kids blame themselves for the troubles they have. They might feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed if they’ve done something they know is wrong, or if they didn’t do well. But don’t let yourself get stuck in the mud of bad feelings. After all, you’re still learning, like everyone else. By working through troubles, often with help from others, you can find your inner strength. When this happens, you’ll feel better about yourself and will be more optimistic the next time you have a problem. Try to forgive yourself for whatever went wrong. Then try to fix the problem or do better next time. Ask for help with this part if you need to.
Talk to a parent. A super idea! Kids should know they don’t have to face their problems alone. Parents love you and often have good ideas for how to solve a problem. Even if it’s a hard problem to solve, just talking to a parent can help you feel better.
Keep it to myself. This is sometimes OK, sometimes not OK. Kids deserve some privacy and don’t need to tell the whole world about what they’re feeling. But keeping a problem to yourself can lead to trouble. If no one else knows about it, no one can help you.
Cry. This is always sad, but not necessarily a bad thing. Everyone cries sometimes – boys, girls, teenagers, parents, teachers, and even the toughest person you know. Crying is a way to release the tension and upset feelings inside. But too much crying can be a problem if it keeps you from getting control of yourself and trying to figure out what to do next. In other words, there’s a time to cry and there’s a time to get busy!
Some Kids Hurt Themselves
By now, you can see that some ways of handling stress are better for you than others. Sadly, some kids said they hurt themselves when they are feeling upset. About 25% said they banged their head or another body part or did something like biting themselves, cutting themselves, or pulling their own hair.
Kids usually do this because they get so angry or upset that they don’t know what to do. They might feel mad or frustrated and feel like taking it out on themselves. It can be an impulse – something a person does almost without thinking. You probably already know that this doesn’t solve the problem. Even worse, a kid could get injured.
If you’ve ever hurt yourself, try taking these steps next time instead.
Talk to a parent.
If you know someone who hurts himself or herself when upset, tell a grown-up so the kid can learn how to stop doing this.
Sometimes, kids have seen adults take their anger out on themselves or on someone else. Of course, they shouldn’t – but sometimes grown-ups make mistakes, too. When adults yell or scream or hit a wall, they set a bad example for kids who need to learn to control their own tempers. Kids might imitate adults who do this and not realize there are other ways to cope with stressful feelings. The good news is that adults can learn new things, too. It’s never too late to manage your temper.
Parents Can Be Key
Only about 1 in 5 kids said they talk to a parent when they’re upset, but a whopping 75% of kids said they’d like their parents to help them in times of stress. Here’s how kids said parents could help:
Sometimes parents might feel like kids don’t want them to get involved. That’s why it’s good to talk to a parent – even if all you want to say is that this problem is going on and that you’d like to try to solve it on your own. More often, you might want your mom or dad to offer ideas or at least a little encouragement.
You can return the favor by being extra nice to your mom or dad the next time he or she is feeling stressed out. You could draw a card, give an extra hug, or clean your room without being asked. Then your parent may be too surprised to feel stressed!
What’s a KidsPoll?
To get this information about kids and stress, we conducted a KidsPoll. This means we asked an equal number of boys and girls a bunch of questions about stress. They answered the questions on handheld data devices while visiting these health education centers and children’s museums:
A poll, like the KidsPoll, gives researchers a bunch of information to look at. Instead of knowing how just a few people feel, they know how a lot of people feel. They can look at the way the entire group answered. They calculate how many – or what percentage – answered “yes” to this question and “no” to that one. Polls give us clues about how most people – not just the ones who answered the poll questions – feel about certain issues.
We’ll be conducting more KidsPolls in the future to find out what kids say – maybe you’ll be part of one!
Source: Kids Health
Dear Alexander
by Alexander
May 11, 2009
Older brother
Dear Alexander,
My older brother doesn’t have any allergies, but I am allergic to milk. He is usually pretty good about it, but sometimes when his friends come over, they make jokes about it. How can I deal with this?
Wow, this can be a tough situation. Sometimes older brothers or sisters act differently around their friends. When your brother is not around his friends, talk to him and let him know how this makes you feel. Older brothers usually like to help out and protect their younger brothers and sisters. Ask your brother to tell his friends that food allergies are nothing to laugh about. Some kids tease because they don’t understand food allergies and what it’s like to have one. He can teach his friends a lot, and that helps you to stay safe.
If they are still being mean, then go to a different room, and then they won’t bother you any more. Make sure to let your parents know about the jokes.
Good luck!
Your friend,
Alexander the Elephant
The information above is not designed to take the place of a doctor’s instructions. Patients are urged to contact a doctor for specific information regarding guidelines for care.
Source: Food Allergy Website
Life’s Choice!
By Unknown
May 13, 2009
Editor’s Note: Do you know what “Joyology ” means? It is the study of caring, sharing, listening and Sacrifice.
What is a Joyologist? A joyologist, then would be one who studies joyology. Frankly our world could use a great many joyologists whose mission in life is to actively research the effects of discussing and sharing joy. The research could branch out into how joy effects our careers, family lives, and friendships. The very act of doing the active research should spread jubilation throughout the world and bring about positive results. What a fun job!
Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.When someone would ask him how he was doing, would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”
Michael replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or .. you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or…I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or… I can point out the positive side of life, choose the positive side of life.
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested. “Yes, it is,” Michael said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.
The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live your life.”
I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a
serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications towe! r.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of! intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
“The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter,” Michael replied. “Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or… I could choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.
Michael continued, “…the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read “he’s a dead man. I knew I needed to take action.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Michael. “She asked if I was allergic to anything.
“Yes, I replied.” The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my
> reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, “Gravity.”
Over their laughter, I told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”
Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Enjoy each day, each breath and mostly-each and every friend
Source: Joyology
Should You Pay Kids for Good Grades?
May 11, 2009 by Dan
Filed under Parent's Advice
by Tara Welty
May. 11, 2009
When grandchildren bring home straight A’s, do you open your arms or your wallet?
The reward for a thing well done, is to have done it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The idea of hard work being its own reward may have held sway in Emerson’s late 19th-century America, but 21st-century U.S. schools have embraced rewards including cash and iPods to “incentivize” kids to stay in school and get good grades. In New York, Massachusetts, Texas, and elsewhere, school districts are paying kids for perfect attendance, improved standardized-test scores, or for reading a certain number of books. Administrators say that they hope the rewards will inspire students to achieve.
Cash incentives may be new for public-school systems, but thousands of grandparents like Ned and Inga Book of State College, Penn., have been rewarding kids for bringing home good report cards for years. “We try to monitor how school is going and what courses they are taking. We pay for A’s and B’s at report-card time,” says Inga, 75. She and Ned, 77, have five grandchildren, ages 8 to 21, and she believes the kids appreciate the rewards as “recognition of their hard work.”
What’s the Best Reward?
Not all grandparents, however, believe cash is the best motivator of young students. In the national debate over cash incentives in schools, critics point out that there’s little evidence that such rewards lead to stronger student performance, and argue that at some point, all successful pupils must learn to study for the love of learning. Some grandparents agree. Diane and Gary Parmelee of Naples, Fla., “pile on the praise” when one of their four grandchildren brings home a great report card, says Diane, 62. “That’s all they really want from me, and I believe it makes them want to keep on doing their best.”
Diane Parmelee, who has been a classroom teacher at various grade levels for 36 years, believes that “no amount of praise or rewards can match the reward that you give yourself when you know you’ve done your best or excelled in something.”
Ellen Cerniglia, associate professor of education at the graduate school of Touro College in New York City, acknowledges that incentives are “in many ways effective,” but cautions that “children often begin to look for bigger or more substantial rewards as time goes on.”
Be Consistent
So should you reward your grandchildren for doing well in school? “The answer depends on the individual situation and family relationship,” says Virginia Shiller, a clinical psychologist and lecturer at the Yale Child Study Center, the coauthor of Rewards for Kids!: Ready-To-Use Charts & Activities for Positive Parenting (Magination Press, 2003), and the producer of the Rewards for Kids website. Before you start doling out cash, she recommends working with your grandchildren’s parents to develop a plan for rewards. “Be sure that the children’s parents are enthusiastic about your plan,” she says. “You may be well-intentioned, but if your reward plan contradicts the parents’ view about how to help the children, there could be trouble.”
However you choose to reward kids for their work in school, Shiller urges you to consider the ways incentives could work fairly for all your grandchildren. After all, each grandchild is unique and has different abilities. If some grandchildren breeze through school with straight A’s but others struggle to get C’s, consider rewarding the struggling students for any improvements on their report card, rather than withholding rewards because they didn’t get A’s. In consultation with parents, Shiller recommends setting individual goals that are “realistic and attainable for each child,” and rewarding not just results but hard work as well.
Both Shiller and Cerniglia stress that your rewards can take different forms – many grandparents give kids money, others stick to praise, but some reward kids for their work in school with special one-on-one activities. Shiller approves: “Grandparents may have the luxury of time that working parents lack, and these activities may create lasting memories and stronger relationships.”
As with any element of grandparenting, the key is finding what makes you comfortable and what works best for your family. For the Books, cash prizes work well. The kids “look forward to showing us their report cards,” Inga says, and as for the children’s parents, “I haven’t heard any complaints!”
Source: Grandparents
Welcome To McGruff
By McGruff and Scruff
May 11, 2009
In 1974, a neighborhood crime watch group was organized in South Dade County. Citizens met with their local law enforcement departments to ask what they could do to help the police apprehend a rapist terrorizing their community. From this first informal meeting, communities and law enforcement began to work together to keep neighborhoods safe and free from crime. An organization was formed, and Citizens’ Crime Watch of Miami-Dade County, Inc. (CCW) was registered as a 501(c) (3) non profit organization. Today, over 1,600 neighborhoods participate in the crime watch concept. In 1979, the crime watch concept was introduced into the public school system at one school. Because it succeeded in curbing school crime, the Miami-Dade County Public Schools (M-DCPS) requested we, CCW, expand its student crime watch program from one school to include all public schools in the county. Since that time, Youth Crime Watch of Miami-Dade (YCW) has functioned as an allied program of the public schools.
Methodology The public school system contracts with YCW to educate and train students in violence and crime prevention strategies. Children also learn that good citizenship and personal responsibility include watching out for family, friends, schools and community. YCW maintains a presence in all M-DCPS.
The foundation of the YCW program is built upon a “school safety survey” which is administered at the school during the first few months of the school year. It asks respondents to rank their particular safety concerns – those issues which they believe have the potential to cause harm to themselves or their schoolmates. YCW students, student advisors, and our staff are then enlisted in the effort to resolve those issues impeding the safety, health, and education of young people. The results of the survey are prioritized and comprise the core content of the YCW program.
The YCW program is structured to teach leadership skills to students who volunteer to learn about school safety. While they learn how to keep themselves safe, they also learn public speaking, critical thinking, leadership, and other skills that will serve them into their adult lives. This, in turn, reinforces their self-esteem and promotes positive involvement, again curbing misbehavior, crime and violence in the school.
I’m McGruff the Crime Dog – world famous for my advice on how to stop crime before it happens, and for my great sense of humor. But seriously, my job is to help people, especially kids, learn how to be safe and make their neighborhood safer. Something else you should know about me is that I go all over the country to talk to people about how they can take a bite out of crime. So if you see me in your town, come on up and say hi. You can recognize me by my tan trench coat – I never go anywhere without it.
This here is my nephew Scruff. He helps me show kids how they can stay safe. Scruff’s a good pup but sometimes gets himself into a bit of trouble. Lucky for him he’s got a good memory – eventually he remembers the right thing to do to get out of trouble. Want to know more about me and Scruff?
You can read more about yours truly in the story How McGruff Became the Crime Dog, and you can read some of Scruff’s adventures in these comic books.
Source: McGruff
Introducing Special Agent of the FBI
May 11, 2009 by Dan
Filed under FBI Website
By Special Agent Bobby Bureau
May 11, 2009
Editor’s Note: We are always looking for ways to inform parents of programs that will help them raise their children. Well we found one it is called “Special Agent Bobby Bureau”. We will be joining him to give you tips for kids of all ages. The best way to tell you about this agent is to let him tell you himself.
The Kids’ Page is designed for children and their parents to learn more about the FBI through age-appropriate games, tips, stories and inter actives. We also introduce you to our working dogs and show how FBI special agents and analysts investigate cases. First, can you help Special Agent Bobby Bureau get in disguise for his undercover assignment? He’s depending on you. You have to visit the sight to sign up as a special agent
Source: FBI
When Mom of a Mother
By Beverly Beckham
May, 11, 2009
When my older daughter became a mother nearly six years ago, I became a grandmother with a brand-new baby to love. But I also became a different kind of mother to my baby. I was useful again. I knew things. I understood. And the most important thing I understood was how much my daughter loved her child.
Ten months later, my younger daughter gave birth to her firstborn. “Did you feel this way, Mom? Isn’t it amazing? I never knew. Was I as cute?”
Motherhood, part two. That’s what grand parenting really is. Your kids grow up, go off to school, and move away. And they don’t need you anymore. They don’t call for advice. And you think, you’re done. That’s it. The job is finished.
And then your kids become parents and you’re suddenly backed in the game. “Mom, can you?” “Dad, will you?”
When a child is placed in a woman’s arms – in a hospital, at an airport, in a lawyer’s office, and whether the child is a newborn or a 10-year-old – a woman’s life changes forever.
And so does the life of her mother.
I watch my daughters wipe noses and hands, buckle car seats, peel grapes, insist upon “please” and “thank you,” wipe up spills, dry tears, read books, blow bubbles, monitor the TV, play games, and work outside their homes. And I am struck by the rigors of mothering – how hard it is and tiring and endless, and how amazing it is that anyone signs up for this job.
And then I think, this was once my job. I did all this. “How did you do it, Mom?” my daughters ask. And they listen to my answer because I’ve been down the road they’re on now and they realize that maybe I know a few things they have yet to learn.
The mother-child connection. It changes. It evolves. It grows.
In the space between us now there is still no space. It is filled with children – theirs, but part mine. And on it goes. Mother to mother to child, this eternal bond that is recognized and honored on Mother’s Day.
Source: Grandparents
How to Make a Difference
May 11, 2009 by Dan
Filed under Human Interest
By Alexis Wiseman
May 11, 2006
Students around the country are organizing environmental clubs to take action to improve their environment. All of these student environmental groups shout one big message: it doesn’t matter how old you are, you can take action to change your community. How would you like to learn how to start an environmental club to help your community?
Based in New York City, the Collegiate School started its environmental club, CENIC, in 2006. CENIC (Collegiate with the Environment Naturally In Check) is making Collegiate a greener school. They signed on with an energy company to purchase 100 percent of its electricity from wind power sources. That move prevented the emission of 385 tons of greenhouse gases.
They installed more efficient fluorescent lights and a waterless urinal that saves 28,000 gallons of water and a large amount of electricity. CENIC successfully campaigned for using 100 percent recycled paper and expanded bottle and can recycling in the school. They worked with the Environmental Defense Fund to get New York City to enforce stricter fuel efficiency standards for more than 13,000 taxis.
Harrison Monsky, co-President of CENIC and a National Student Coordinator of the Green Schools Alliance, talked with Scholastic News recently about how the group works to conserve.
Scholastic News Online: What was the hardest thing you accomplished?
Harrison Monsky: Last year we moved the school to 100 percent green electricity. In order to do that, we found a company that was an electricity supplier that specialized in renewable energy windmills.
SNO: What was the most impactful change you accomplished?
Harrison: We changed the community a lot by acting to make the school use more sustainable sources of energy. Our school is a k-12 school so to do this you have to involve the entire community. When we moved to wind power, we put up posters everywhere. We had a big assembly for all different parts of the school where we talked about what the move meant. Seniors went into classes of lower school students to read stories of what happens if you don’t think about the future and you only think about today.
SNO: How did you handle any controversy that came about because of some of your decisions?
Harrison: There’s going to be controversy whenever a change is made, especially at our school because there are over 600 people with different opinions and competing viewpoints. You have to stick to what you think is right, because most of the time if you’re willing to do the work change will happen.
SNO: How do you research your proposals? How do you decide about which green choices to make?
Harrison: Some are easy to see. For the lighting project we saw how wasteful the lights were. Another way is through conferences where we bring together green companies and schools.
SNO: What simple things can any kid do to help make their communities greener?
Harrison: Make sure you’re not wasting electricity. It’s amazing how much you can waste just by leaving the lights on. Use public transportation-less cars on the road reduces carbon pollution that contributes to global warming.
As you can see, taking action to make a change to your community doesn’t mean you have to be an adult. Student environmental activists like Harrison show us that kids can make a difference and lead the way.
Tips for starting your own environmental club
- Start small. A group of five committed people is a good start. If you do a project really well more people will want to join. CENIC now has 40 members!
- Create a list of goals. What do you want your work to accomplish?
- Call local environmental groups to see how you can get help with current projects.
- Make sure everybody has a job.
- Recruit help from teachers to be advisers and make sure the school building facility manager is on board.
Tips for Success
- Stay motivated by staying focused on the positive changes you are making.
- Determination is critical for working through challenges.
- Organization is important to make sure people work together.
- Partner with other club members, clubs and companies to get things done.
Useful Links for your environmental club
Source: Scholastic News Online
Garry Marshall vs. Lori Marshall: On Tattoos
May 11, 2009 by Dan
Filed under Entertainment
by Garry and Lori Marshall
May 11, 2009
Mom wants to become a marked woman. Pop’s not big on branding.
MOM LORI: I want to get a tattoo.
POP GARRY: What? Just out of the blue. Like shazam. You woke up this morning and decided you wanted a skull and crossbones on your triceps?
MOM LORI: It’s not out of the blue. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and I’m ready. I want to get one when I’m officially divorced.
POP GARRY: That’s odd.
MOM LORI: What’s odd about it? I was married for 20 years. My life is about to change significantly. And when I finally get the official divorce papers, I think there should be some outwardly visible sign of change to commemorate it.
POP GARRY: Then you won’t be able to be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
MOM LORI: I’m not Jewish.
POP GARRY: But what if your second marriage is to a Jewish man? He’ll be buried in a nice plot and you’ll be shipped out to the boondocks where they bury the people with the tattoos.
MOM LORI: I’m sure there are many famous tattooed people in the boondocks.
POP GARRY: But there are so many other reasons not to get all tatted up. Isn’t that the phrase the young kids use now? Tatted up?
MOM LORI: Your teenage grandkids say “inked.”
POP GARRY: Okay, inked, schminked.
MOM LORI: So what are other reasons not to do it?
POP GARRY: Think of some of the people who have tattoos. They are named Crash and Smash and make their homes in prisons like San Quentin or in the NFL or the NBA.
MOM LORI: That’s so stereotypical, Dad. Many very nice people have tattoos.
POP GARRY: For example?
MOM LORI: Angelina and Brad.
POP GARRY: They have tattoos? I thought they had lots of children.
MOM LORI: And tattoos.
POP GARRY: But what about regular people. Do you have friends with tattoos?
MOM LORI: Sure. My friend Katie who runs a big company gets one every year on her birthday.
POP GARRY: Big? Small? Or Scary?
MOM LORI: Various. And my friend Sue is a teacher and she has a tattoo.
POP GARRY: Sue with a tattoo? Sounds like a musical.
MOM LORI: And neither woman has served time in prison. So what’s the big deal?
POP GARRY: One word: Sagging.
MOM LORI: Ewww. What does that mean?
POP GARRY: Say you get a butterfly on your arm.
MOM LORI: Say I do.
POP GARRY: The day you get the butterfly it will look colorful and perky and cute. Just the way you want it to be.
MOM LORI: Sweet!
POP GARRY: But then by the time you hit 80 years old, it will look like a butterfly that’s been run over by a hybrid SUV.
MOM LORI: Gross. But why a hybrid?
POP GARRY: I like all my stories to be environmentally green. So back to your tattoo. If you get one and then try to years later go online and date seniors they’re not going to like your sagging butterfly.
MOM LORI: Good point. Got any others?
POP GARRY: Would you let either one of your 13-year-old twin daughters get a tattoo?
MOM LORI: Absolutely not.
POP GARRY: Why not?
MOM LORI: They are too young to get something that will be on their body for the rest of their lives.
POP GARRY: Knowing Charlotte, she would want a tattoo of Hugh Laurie from House, complete with the cane. You know how much she loves that show.
MOM LORI: See, it comes back to the time problem. Back in the day, I would have loved a tattoo of Rick Springfield from General Hospital, but now I would want it removed.
POP GARRY: So we’ve established that a tattoo is not the right thing for a kid.
MOM LORI: No. But it’s my body and I am an adult.
POP GARRY: What about body piercing?
MOM LORI: Dad!
POP GARRY: What?
MOM LORI: Are you suggesting that I should get a belly button ring over a tattoo?
POP GARRY: Or a nose ring.
MOM LORI: A nose ring?! Impossible. I sneeze a lot. That would be painful during allergy season.
POP GARRY: How about another hole in your ear? An extra earring?
MOM LORI: Doesn’t that seem so pedestrian?
POP GARRY: Pedestrian is mixing black and blue in your wardrobe. I think a third hole would be something unique.
MOM LORI: Well …
POP GARRY: Are you thinking it over?
MOM LORI: No. My computer just froze.
POP GARRY: I’ll wait.
MOM LORI: Maybe I should just buy myself a nice new pair of earrings to commemorate the divorce.
POP GARRY: Right. And years from now when you are at the old people’s home and three holes is out of vogue – you can just let one close up.
MOM LORI: I think you might be right. Less invasive and less permanent than a tattoo. Or a nose ring.
POP GARRY: Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of the henna tattoo. Something that’s festive and fun, but can be washed off so you don’t look like you’re in the Navy for the rest of your life.
MOM LORI: A good plan. Thanks, Dad.
POP GARRY: Enough about you. Let’s talk about me. Should I get transplants?
MOM LORI: No. Your hair is fine.
POP GARRY: I meant implants.
MOM LORI: What???
POP GARRY: For my teeth. Should I get them?
MOM LORI: Oh, that’s what you mean? No. No implants, no transplants.
POP GARRY: Maybe I should stick to just plants. You know how much I love gardening.
MOM LORI: Much safer. And again, not permanent.
POP GARRY: Oh, that reminds me. Your mother’s getting a permanent today. I have to run and pick her up at the beauty parlor.
MOM LORI: You better hurry. I hear they’ve started doing tattoos there as well.
The debates continue, when these two argue over gardening. Also, read how our columnist, Beverly Beckham, discovered her friend’s tattoo.
Source: Grand Parents