Granddaughter Is Scared of Bees

by Susan Stiffelman
August 7, 2009

A grandmother seeks help for a little girl who won’t stay outside when bees are about.

My 9-year-old granddaughter is terrified of bees. She loves to swim, but will run in the house screaming and crying if she sees a bee. We’ve all tried to reason with her, but it hasn’t helped. She seems well-adjusted in every other way. I would be grateful for your advice.

So you have a bee in your bonnet about your granddaughter’s phobia? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) A child’s phobias can be immensely frustrating. In my long career working with children who sometimes have irrational fears, I’ve learned that reasoning does not help. In fact, it can make things worse.

Here’s why:

The left side of our brain is responsible for logic, language, and rational thought. It’s wonderful at taking in information and integrating it into new learning. If your granddaughter was “in” her left brain when she saw a bee, she would be able to process the reassuring words you offered — “Bees don’t sting unless they’re provoked,” or, “It’s more afraid of you than you are of it” — and move past her anxiety immediately.

The problem is, when she is gripped by irrational fear, she is entirely “in” her right brain where she is unable to process whatever rational, reassuring things you say. Coming at her with reason and logic will only escalate her distress, and yours.

• Be caring without fueling the drama. If she sees a bee and panics, stay relaxed and calm. Allow her to run into the house without making a fuss or creating a scene. If you insist that she stay outdoors when she feels such a desperate need to go in, you’ll be jeopardizing your authority.

• Wait for a calm moment when the danger has passed to ask her to tell you about her fear, and how she feels when she spots a bee. Ask, “What is it like for you when you see one? What do you think might happen?” When she begins to talk, don’t interrupt or try to correct her. Just say sympathetic things that will encourage her to continue, like, “That does sound scary.” Your empathy can help lessen the intensity of her fear.

• Take her seriously. She will not be receptive to your advice if she feels you’re minimizing her fear. But if she feels you’ve listened and understood, and she’s had some time to calm down, she’ll listen to your suggestions. Offer to share your ideas for dealing with her fear so she can have lots of fun outdoors with the rest of the family.

• Suggest small, measurable steps you’re sure she can handle, to help desensitize her to her fear. For example, start with staying outside for 10 or 20 seconds after she spots a bee. As she’s able to stretch the time she stays outside with a bee around, hopefully some of her anxiety will relax.

• Teach her to assign a number to her level of fear — 1 for okay, 10 for terrified. Have her announce what number she’s at on the scale while she’s outside — first, when she’s across the yard from a bee, then, when she’s closer. In part, this will make her anxiety, feel more like a game, but more important, being asked to keep thinking and evaluating will turn up the volume on her left brain, helping her remain rational even if there are bees around.

• When things calm down, try doing a project together that will help make bees less terrifying. Check out library books, watch videos, or read information online about bee societies, their amazing dances, or their fascinating communication strategies. Bees may become more interesting when she learns that their wings beat 11,400 times per minute, or that, in her lifetime, a worker bee will produce 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey.

Sticking by your granddaughter’s side, keeping her calm, letting her express her anxiety without judgment, and creating baby steps toward success, you’ll help desensitize her from her phobia. If all goes well, soon you may have to drag her out of the pool to come back inside!

Editor’s Note: Susan Stiffelman is a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). She has become a source of advice and support for parents and grandparents through her private practice, public presentations, and website. You can find more articles at susanstiffelman.com.

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Two Year Old Sings Lord’s Prayer

THE KIDS BLOCK!!!

The Kids Block

Lots of Shapes – Children’s video

Kids Ready to Fly

By Our Military/PIO
August 6, 2009
Children wait their turn to board the Navy flight simulator during a Salinas Navy Week event at the YMCA of Monterey County. Salinas Navy Week is one of 21 Navy Weeks planned across America in 2009. Navy Weeks are designed to show Americans the investment they have made in their Navy and increase awareness in cities that do not have a significant Navy presence.

Source: Our Military

Editor’s Note: U.S. Navy photo by Chief Mass Communication Specialist Steve Carlson.

 

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

First Breast Feeding

By Michael K. Davis, MD
August  5, 2009

Some new mothers may be surprised that the newborn is prepared to eat within minutes of delivery.  The early breast milk (i.e., colostrum) is ready immediately after birth.  Once the placenta is expelled, progesterone levels in the mother drop, leading to increased breast milk production.  This so called, “let down” of the milk may take up to 5 days.

When should breastfeeding start?

Breastfeeding should begin within the first few hours after birth.  Some experts have shown that there is a benefit to allowing the infant to breast feed moments after birth.  Some potential benefits of breastfeeding in the first hour of life are:

Suckling stimulates release of the hormone oxytocin in the mother.  Oxytocin stimulates breast milk “let down” and also increases uterine contraction.  Contraction of the uterus helps with removal of the placenta and reduces bleeding from the uterus after birth.

• Infants have an intense suckling reflex after birth and this helps initiate the mother-infant bond.
• The early breastmilk (i.e., colostrum) contains important immune protection factors.
• Early breastfeeding stimulates the infants gut to move, which helps the infant pass any swallowed blood.  Digested blood can contribute to jaundice in the infant.
• The risk of breast engorgement is reduced.
• Early stimulation of the breasts encourages breastmilk production more quickly.
• The infant is more alert in the first 2 hours after delivery than later in the first day of life.

Will my baby get enough milk in the first few days before my milk “comes in?”

Newborn infants may lose up to 10% of their body weight in the first week of life.  This mostly occurs due to body water loss.  Newborns are born with extra fluid that helps prevent dehydration during this time.  While this is “natures expected path,” it is important to provide newborn infants with fluids and nutrition as early as possible to prevent excessive weight loss and dehydration.  It is important for newborn infants (especially breastfed infants) to see a pediatrician by 1 or 2 weeks of age to make sure feeding is adequate.

Some tips for breastfeeding in the first week of life.

• Breastfeeding should occur at least every 3 hours (day and night) in the first few weeks of life.
• Allow the infant to completely empty the breast on one side before switching to the other side.
• Avoiding the use of pacifiers in the first few weeks may encourage more effective breastfeeding.
• Do not supplement with baby milk formulas in the first few weeks unless directed by your doctor.
• The baby should urinate within about 8 hours of birth (babies often urinate during delivery or during the first bath).
• The baby should have a wet diaper at least every 4 hours.
• The baby should pass the first stool (i.e., meconium) within the first 24 hours of life.
• The baby should pass stool at least 4 times per day (about every 6 hours or less) in the first few weeks of life.  However, there is a lot of normal variation in the number of stools per day in breastfed infants.
• The baby should wake up and feed vigorously every 3 hours.
• Stools should turn yellow and “seedy” by about day 4 or 5 of life.
• The mother should be able to feel and hear her feeding infant swallow.
• Milk should be visible around the baby’s mouth and often leaks from the opposite breast when milk production is adequate.
• <>A feeding infant should latch onto the breast well without a lot of loud noise from air sucked into the baby’s mouth.

What are some clues that breastfeeding is not adequate?

• The baby should urinate within about 8 hours of birth (babies often urinate during delivery or during the first bath).
• The baby should have a wet diaper at least every 4 hours.
• The baby should pass the first stool (i.e., meconium) within the first 24 hours of life.
• The baby should pass stool at least 4 times per day (about every 6 hours or less) in the first few weeks of life.  However, there is a lot of normal variation in the number of stools per day in breastfed infants.
• The baby should wake up and feed vigorously every 3 hours.
• Stools should turn yellow and “seedy” by about day 4 or 5 of life.
• The mother should be able to feel and hear her feeding infant swallow.
• Milk should be visible around the baby’s mouth and often leaks from the opposite breast when milk production is adequate.
• A feeding infant should latch onto the breast well without a lot of loud noise from air sucked into the baby’s mouth.

Source: Dr Tummy

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Sticky Situation #5

By Scholastic News
August 6, 2009

Nicholas is at his friend Robert’s house. Robert’s mother offers Nicholas soda. Nicholas’s parents don’t allow him to drink soda. But he really wants the soda because he never gets to have one.

What should Nicholas do?

Click on “Comments” to write a paragraph explaining what you think Nicholas should do. Other Scholastic News readers will be posting their thoughts about this week’s ethical dilemma, too. So come back to the Sticky Situation blog to discuss their solutions!

 

Source: Scholastic News

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

International Coastal Cleanup

By HG Kids
August 5, 2009

Editor’s Note: This article was first Published Oct 5, 2007. We think it is worth repeating. About 150 volunteers came out in Washington, D.C. for the International Coastal Cleanup. Photo Courtesy Ocean Conservancy

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Eleven-year-old Cammy Holmes tramped along the shores of Washington, D.C.’s Anacostia River with her big sister and a friend. Wearing gloves to protect their hands, they filled a garbage bag with everything from fishing line and dirty plastic bottles to old grocery bags.

The girls, and about 150 others volunteered in the International Coastal Cleanup, an annual event that raises awareness of the importance of keeping the world’s waterways and oceans clean.

The cleanup was sponsored by an organization called the Ocean Conservancy that works to protect ocean animals and their homes. Unfortunately, a lot of trash never makes it into a trash can. It blows on the wind, and travels down streams and rivers to the sea.

Trash isn’t just ugly—it can be dangerous for creatures that live in the water. Every year, plastic trash like old fishing gear, shopping bags, and food wrappers kills one million sea birds and 100,000 marine mammals and sea turtles.

Sometimes these animals get tangled up in garbage and die. Sometimes they eat trash that chokes or poisons them. Sea turtles, for example, mistake plastic bags for the jellyfish they love to eat.

At the Anacostia River, Cammy helped the volunteers pick up 2,380 pounds (1079.5 kilograms) of trash in just a few hours along three miles (4.83 kilometers) of shoreline.

“When you hear about a coastal cleanup you think, gross, you have to pick up trash,” says Cammy. “But then you get there and find out it is actually fun! I liked meeting all the other people and helping out the environment.”

This one-day event has an important message 365 days of the year: “We are all connected to the ocean. You can help keep the ocean clean by putting trash in the right place. Take the extra time to put your snack wrapper in the garbage can instead of throwing it on the ground, and recycle everything you can,” says Sonia Besteiro of the Ocean Conservancy.

Fast Facts:

• In the past 21 years, volunteers with the International Coastal Cleanup have cleared millions of pounds of litter from 211,460 miles (340,312 kilometers) of coastline worldwide. That distance is the equivalent of going around the Earth eight times!
• In 2006, 358,617 volunteers cleaned 34,560 miles (55,619 kilometers) of shoreline, collecting 7 million tons of trash!
• In the 2007 cleanup, nearly half a million people in 70 countries pitched in.

Text by Catherine Clarke Fox

Editor’s Note: Here is a game for kids called “Water Life. Help Valerie and her otter pal Oscar save Oscar’s estuary home, and find out why estuaries and all waterways are important. Play Waterlife, a new game from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration game.

Play WaterLife on the NOAA website

Source: Kids National Geographic

Sign of Sleeping Problems

By: Suzanne Dixon,
M.D., M.P.H.
Augus 6, 2009

Every parent has some degree of trouble getting a child to go to bed and stay in bed. Struggles over sleep are the most common concerns we hear about on the Web site and the ones I’m asked about most frequently in the clinic. Here we look at sleep from the child’s perspective and then explore some sleep problems and solutions for parents.

Routine Is Everything

Children behave the best around any issue when they see a pattern they can rely on. A regular bedtime and a standard routine for settling down for the night help kids understand what’s expected. If the time, the place, or the routine changes all the time, then anxiety, confusion, and room for negotiation may creep in. Although some kids rely on regularity more than others do, all children benefit from a bedtime routine.

A good bedtime routine for just about any young child lasts about 30 minutes. It can include a bath, a snuggle, a story, or a song. If the routine lasts longer than that or becomes too elaborate, kids wind up rather than settle down. But a routine under 30 minutes makes most young kids feel pushed to bed.

If weekend and weekday bedtimes vary by more than an hour, expect trouble on Monday. For best results, try to stick to a single schedule all week. This plan is tough for families who like to sleep in on the weekends, but my experience suggests that having at least one parent get up with the kids on Saturday and Sunday morning will make life go more smoothly overall.

Children should sleep in the same place every night if possible. Switching locations — sleeping in different beds, on the floor, on the couch — makes it difficult for kids to get into a good pattern. If kids are in a joint physical custody situation (which I don’t recommend for young children), do your best to be sure the routine and some of the physical features, such as the pillow or blanket, are the same in each place. Parents in different households need to coordinate bedtime routines so that they are providing pretty much the same structure.

From a child’s perspective, going to sleep is a separation: from parents, from siblings, from toys, from the exciting events of the day, and from whatever is continuing to go on in the household. Why would he readily give all this up — especially when it means going into a dark room where monsters may lie under the bed, ghosts could float outside the window, or snakes might slither under the sheets? No child goes to bed without some struggle and adjustment. And no child sleeps in his own bed by himself without a lot of prompts, learning, and firm rules that don’t change.

Sleep Is Separation

For parents, too, this is a separation. Although most parents say that they are ready to let go of their child at the end of a long day, many really struggle with this. They give their child mixed messages, only partially enforce the routine, and can’t handle the discipline needed to enable their child to sleep on his own. As parents, we have to recognize and deal with our own tough issues about separating and being apart before we can solve any of our children’s concerns.

Many cultures allow young children to always sleep with an adult next to them, and there is no harm in that. In fact, many families swear by the concept of the family bed. However, co-sleeping works only if everybody really agrees to the concept and everyone’s needs for some independence and privacy are met in other ways. Most families in Western societies think that children should sleep in their own bed from infancy onward. Either way, it’s best to discuss this issue openly with your partner. Most parents bring their kids into bed with them sometimes, when the kids are sick, scared, or under pressure. That’s fine, of course, but remember that your child won’t gladly go back to his own bed without clear direction and support from you, his parents.

Head Banging and Body Rocking

Many children will use these rhythmic, repetitive behaviors to settle themselves to sleep at bedtime or during the night to get back to sleep. This is most common in the first year of life and usually disappears before age 2. They hit hard, from a few minutes to half an hour or more, but they are extremely unlikely to hurt themselves. You can’t stop this behavior, but you can make things more quiet and comfortable:

• Move the crib away from the wall.
• Put rubber carpet protectors under the crib’s legs to cut down movement and noise. Put the crib on a thick carpet, too.
• Pad the crib up over the top. Secure the padding very well so it won’t slip and trap your child underneath or serve as a step stool out of the crib. Keep the ties less than six inches.
• Don’t go into your child’s room to check if you know she’s developed this habit. Your presence may reinforce this behavior as an attention-getter rather than a self-comforting habit.

Endless Drinks of Water

The toddler who bounces up like a ball after going to bed needs to be put back to bed with, at most, a single sentence of explanation. No discussions or negotiations, no more time watching TV. Silently put him back in bed, tuck him in, and leave. At first, you may repeat this process a hundred times before he stays put, especially if you’ve been loose about enforcing bedtime guidelines in the past. Be prepared for a struggle to establish this new routine. One drink of water is okay. One trip to the potty is enough.

Getting Into Parents’ Bed

If you really don’t want your child to share your bed, silently put him back into his own bed, a hundred times if necessary, with no talking and no discussion. If you let him climb into your bed in the morning and go back to sleep, he won’t understand what’s different about doing the same thing in the middle of the night. For a child who is stressed by separation or has been co-sleeping with his parents for a long time, I recommend placing a sleeping bag on the floor of your room and giving him rewards for moving closer and closer to his own room. This staged approach helps with the separation, which is hard for everyone.

Nightmares

Nightmares, or bad dreams, are a sign of an active mind putting life’s experiences in order. Although children can have a nightmare any time during the night, as a child gets older, he will dream toward morning, as adults do. We all use dreams and nightmares to handle stress, adjustments, and pressures. Children have the capacity to dream as soon as they learn to talk. Young children usually can’t remember their dreams, even the ones that awaken them. And since dream content isn’t that important, don’t push to get it. If a child is stuck with the same dream over and over for weeks, however, ask a health professional to help figure out the source of stress. Don’t go after the monsters in the closet; just provide simple reassurance. If you take the monsters too seriously, it’s hard for a kid to be sure they aren’t there, under the bed.

Night Terrors

These are abrupt partial awakenings that generally occur before midnight in children ages 2 to 6 years. Children are flushed, sweaty, and unresponsive to comfort. Night terrors are scary to parents because their child looks so wild-eyed and thrashes around. But they don’t mean anything, and a child will have no memory of the event in the morning. He won’t respond to your comfort measures, either. Keep him safe from injury as he moves around his bed and room. He’ll grow out of this. You or your spouse may have had night terrors when you were youngsters, as they run in families.

Dealing With Night Terrors

• Make the environment safe. Remove hazardous or breakable items around your child’s bed. Cover the floor with something soft — a rug or blanket if there isn’t any carpeting.
• Keep the atmosphere calm. Keep the light down, and turn off any radio or TV in the area.
• Don’t try to calm or soothe your child with words or hugs. She won’t respond, and restraining some children will only make it worse. Don’t shake or slap her.
• Wait until your child falls back asleep before you leave the area.
• Avoid overtiredness. Your child may need an earlier bedtime or even a brief afternoon nap.

Sleepwalking and Sleep Talking

Both of these conditions are partial awakenings and run in families, increase in frequency and degree during times of stress and overtiredness, and are more common in boys. Young children particularly may also have these when no special stress is present. Most kids outgrow these conditions by adolescence. Don’t take the nighttime talk too seriously, as the content won’t make much sense. And don’t tease a sleepwalker or talker too much, as self-conscious kids may worry that they are revealing secrets or be reluctant to stay over at another child’s house. Reassure your child that he’s normal and that his sharp mind and lively imagination are just keeping him going at night. He won’t remember a thing in the morning.

Dealing With Sleepwalking

• Clear the floor of all objects, including throw rugs, and remove breakables from the bedroom.
• Install a bell on the bedroom door so you know when your child leaves her room.
• Install gates at stair entrances.
• Move your child off the top bunk, if that’s where she sleeps. Consider a first-floor bedroom if she doesn’t already have one.
• Lock or block off the kitchen or other areas that have hazardous items available.
• Be sure all glass in windows, cabinets, and shower doors is shatterproof.

Source: Pampers

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

« Previous Page — Next Page »