Can We Talk About Self Esteem?

Bingzy Handjive

Teach Values to your Kids

by Mark Brandenburg
August 21, 2009

 

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values that don’t reflect what you believe, how can fathers teach values to their kids? Here are ten ideas to help you:

Tell them your life stories and teach through your stories
Kids love to hear stories about your childhood. Weave in some moral dilemmas and you’ve got great opportunities to teach values to them. It certainly beats lecturing your kids!

Live your own life according to your values—walk the talk.
Kids learn by imitating, especially at a young age. They are very adept at seeing if what you say and what you do are matching up. Don’t give them confusing signals; follow your own values every moment.

Expose them to your religion or faith
It seems especially important today to let them know that they’re not alone. Providing your kids with a community of faith will strengthen their values and provide parents some “leverage”

Pay attention to who else might be teaching values to your kids
Get to know your child’s teachers, coaches, relatives, etc. Anyone who spends time with your kids may be influencing them. Know their values and beliefs as well. 

Ask your kids questions that will stimulate dialogue about values
Telling them what values they should have won’t always be effective, especially when your kids get older. Asking them “curious” questions will allow discussions that will eventually lead to values. “What did you think about that fight,” may be more effective than, “He shouldn’t have started that fight!”

Talk to them about values in a relaxed and easy way
Nothing will turn your kids off more than preaching values to them after they’ve screwed up! Talk to them when everyone’s relaxed, and do it in a light, conversational manner. They’ll be much more likely to be listening rather than tuning you out.

Read them fairy tales when they’re younger
Fairy tales capture the imagination of kids and can easily lead to a discussion of values. Kids will learn the most concerning values when they’re excited about the topic.

Involve your kids in art, activities, or helping others while limiting TV and video games
Kids learn values when they experience them. Allow them to experience helping others and involve them in activities that will expand their creativity.

Have frequent conversations about values in your household
This lets your kids know that it’s important and it’s not just something you talk about when they do something wrong.

Have high expectations for your kids’ value systems
Kids will tend to rise to the level of expectation you have for them. Their value system will often reflect yours if the expectations are high.

Source: Secret of Success

 

Editor’s Note: Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers”.

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Encourage Your Kids

By The Schoolmarm
August 21, 2009

 

“I can’t do it,” he said, and threw his pencil down. “They say I’m stupid in math, I guess they’re right.” He turned his chair around.

With his back to me he began to cry. I closed my eyes, shook my head, and drew a deep sigh.

What could I say to this dear little boy? What hope could I impart? I thought to myself, learning shouldn’t break a child’s heart.

“You’re a good person Jessie, there’s not a better guy in this school. You are always kind and helpful and I’ve never seen you be cruel. You can kick the ball out of sight and you run like the wind. You can do many things, my young friend.”

He turned back around.

“Let’s take a look at your assignment together, let’s see what has you stumped.” He wiped away tears with the palm of his hands, his shoulders were a little less slumped.

“Come on,” I said, with a pat on his back. “Let’s get to work, okay?” He smiled when I promised , “You will conquer this crazy long division some day!”

When children get discouraged and feel like giving up, they need to be reminded of their positive attributes. Look for what they do well and stress those things. Build them up, don’t tear them down. Believe me, they already know when they are failing. They need to be told how much they are loved, and cherished, and that your love isn’t dependent on what they can do, but who they are.

Source: Bing Note

 

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Kids Homework: Stay Out of It!

By Wayne Rice
August 20, 2009

 

When it comes to kids and homework, I recommend that parents resist getting involved. It’s their responsibility, not yours. It’s common these days for parents to work themselves into a “quality time” frenzy—supervising their kids’ homework on a nightly basis, making sure that every assignment is done correctly and on time. Sometimes these parents actually “go back to school” themselves, heroically reading the textbooks and trying to learn the subject matter so that they can tutor their kids, or, if all else fails, do their homework for them.

Don’t do that! Don’t try to be a hero. Your job is to monitor progress, to coach and encourage from the sidelines, and to hold your student accountable—but that’s about it. Of course you care a great deal about how well your teen does in school, but you should also care enough to allow your teen to do it on his or her own. That’s the only way they will truly benefit from their school experience.

While there are always exceptions, most teenagers—if they are left alone and not overly pushed by their parents—will do okay in school and require little supervision and extra motivation. Don’t worry if your teenager isn’t getting straight As or winning academic-achievement awards. It’s not likely that you can turn your average student into an overachiever by nagging or pushing. In fact, the more you get involved, the greater the likelihood the student will do worse, not better. Remember, it’s her job to get her education.

Most kids are motivated to do well in school by a combination of two things: ambition and anxiety.

Despite what some think about today’s teenagers, most are pretty ambitious. They like challenges and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes from getting good grades and pleasing their teachers and parents. Career ambitions or just a desire to excel at whatever they do may motivate others. Some kids are ambitious by nature, and others develop it gradually over time. It can be encouraged in teenagers by modeling it for them and by providing them with lots of affirmation rather than nagging. Your teenager probably is more ambitious than you realize, even if that ambition is not channeled directly into schoolwork.

Anxiety—or fear—is also a significant motivator. Most students fear what might happen if they don’t do their schoolwork. They might be embarrassed in front of their classmates or put their future at risk or lose a scholarship or make their parents angry.

Ambition and anxiety work in tandem. One of the other usually provides the motivation necessary to make students out of most kids. But what if that doesn’t happen? What if your teenager seems to lack both ambition and anxiety? What if he or she just doesn’t care?

The answer is not to make their performance your problem, but theirs. Sometimes parents and teachers worry and fret about a student’s poor grades while the student could care less. Unless your teenager cares as much (or more) than you do, he or she won’t be motivated to change or to take responsibility for performing up to his or her capabilities.

The best solution is to make school performance something that your kids care about. You can’t give them ambition they don’t have, but you can increase their anxiety level by tying school performance to the privileges that they enjoy and/or expect. Most kids care a lot about having time with their friends, having money to spend, having a car to drive, participating in sports, or having additional freedom. If their bad grades translate into a loss of privileges, they’ll start caring about their school performance. They’ll start feeling some anxiety.

Most kids won’t take kindly to this exercise of your authority. They will probably fight it tooth and nail at first. They’ll act like they really don’t care what you do to them and refuse to change just out of spite. They’ll act like victims and try to blame you for ruining their lives. Don’t fall for it. Just follow through and be patient. Eventually they will learn that you are serious and that if their situation is going to improve, they will be the ones who have to do the improving.

Of course, to make such a system work, you’ll need some way of monitoring how your student is doing, preferably on a weekly basis. There is simply too much time between report cards. What you need to know is whether or not your son or daughter completed the work that was assigned to them for the week, whether or not they are getting an acceptable grade. Some parents make arrangements with teachers and administrators to use a simple form at the end of each week (brought to the school by the student on Friday), which asks teachers in each class to give a progress report, along with a signature to discourage student dishonesty.

Your objective is not to micromanage your teenager’s life but to communicate clearly that they are in total control of their lives. They have responsibilities that they can choose to accept or ignore. The choices are theirs, just as the outcomes of their choices are also theirs. That’s how real life works.

This may not be necessary for your kids. Keep in mind that some underachieving students may have significant learning disabilities that should be properly diagnosed and treated. But the best response for the vast majority of kids who lack the motivation to apply themselves at school is to simply back off and let them take responsibility for their own school performance. Make it matter to them. In most cases, they will turn things around on their own, and they will learn a valuable life lesson in the process.

Editor’s Note: Wayne Rice is the founder and director of HomeWord’s Understanding Your Teenager parenting event. Besides conducting dozens of UYT seminars each year and his work as a consultant for HomeWord, Wayne is a frequent speaker at youth, family and leadership conferences and other events for youth, youth workers, and parents.

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

 

Source: Home Word

What is an Au Pair?

Our Kids Going to School More Safely

By NCMEC
August 19, 2009

Every day millions of children take to the streets and highways to get to and from school.¹ For many children this experience is a new one and they may not understand or be able to use the safety rules. Young children do not have the same frame of reference for safety as adults do. They may not “look before they leap,” which is why it is so important for families to supervise young children and practice safety skills with their older children to make certain they really know and understand them. The tips noted below will help prepare for a safer journey.

Tips for Parents and Guardians

Instruct your children to always TAKE A FRIEND, always stay in well-lit areas, never take shortcuts, and never go into isolated areas. Teach them to stay aware of their surroundings and observe all traffic rules in place to more safely share the roads and sidewalks with others.

Walk the route to and from school with your children pointing out landmarks and safe places to go if they’re being followed or need help. Make the walk to and from school a “teachable moment” and chance to put their skills to the test. Make a map with your children showing acceptable routes to and from school. If your children wait for a bus, wait with them or make arrangements for supervision at the bus stop.

If anyone bothers your children or makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused, while going to or from school, teach your children to trust their feelings, immediately get away from that person, and TELL you or another trusted adult.

If an adult approaches your children for help or directions, remember grownups needing help should not ask children for help; they should ask other adults. Instruct your children to never accept money or gifts from anyone unless you have told them it is OKAY to accept in each instance.

Even though there can be more safety in numbers it is still not safe for young children to walk to and from school, especially if they must take isolated routes anytime during the day or in darkness. Always provide supervision for your young children to help ensure their safe arrival to and from school.

Instruct your children to leave items and clothing with their name on them at home. If anyone calls out their name, teach them to not be fooled or confused. Teach your children about the tricks someone may try to use to confuse them or engage them in conversation. Children should also be taught that they do not need to be polite if approached and to get out of the situation as quickly and safely as possible

Ensure current and accurate emergency contact information is on file for your children at their school. If you, or another trusted family member or friend, need to pick your children up, make sure to follow the school’s departure procedures. These procedures need to include the school’s confirmation of your children’s departure with only those you authorize to pick them up.

Teach your children if anyone tries to take them somewhere they should quickly get away and yell, “This person is trying to take me away” or “This person is not my father/mother/guardian.” Teach your children to make a scene and every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting if anyone tries to grab them.

Teach your children if anyone follows them on foot to get away from that person as quickly as possible. If anyone follows them in a vehicle they should turn around, go in the other direction, and try to quickly get to a spot where a trusted adult may help them. Advise them to be sure to TELL you or another trusted adult what happened.

Instruct your children to never leave school with anyone until they’ve checked with a trusted adult. If anyone tells them there is an emergency and they want your children to go with them, teach your children to always CHECK FIRST with you before doing anything.

Also teach your children to always CHECK FIRST with you if they want to change their plans before or after school. Make sure your children always play with other children, have your permission to play in specific areas, and let you know where they are going to be. Instruct your children to TELL a trusted adult if they notice anyone they don’t know or feel comfortable with hanging around them.

In the event your children may be lost or injured, make sure they carry a contact card with your name and telephone numbers such as work and cellular. This card should be hidden from plain view.

Key Tips to Reinforce With Your Children

Always TAKE A FRIEND with you when walking, biking, or standing at the bus stop. Make sure you know your bus number and which bus to ride.

Say NO if anyone you don’t know or a person who makes you feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused offers a ride unless I have told you it is OKAY to do so in each instance.

Quickly get away and yell, “THIS PERSON IS NOT MY MOTHER/FATHER/GUARDIAN” if anyone tries to take you somewhere or is following you. If anyone tries to grab you, make a scene and every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.

NEVER LEAVE SCHOOL GROUNDS before the regular school day ends. Always check with the office before leaving school early.

NEVER take shortcuts or walk through alleys to get to or from school faster. We will talk about which way to go to and from school. Remind me if activities you participate in cause you to leave earlier or arrive home later than usual. Remember to call me once you have arrived home.

Editor’s Note: According to the National Center for Education Statistics in fall 2008, a record 49.8 million students will attend public elementary and secondary schools. An additional 6.2 million students are expected to attend private schools this fall, Fast Facts. Washington, DC: National Center for Education Statistics, www.nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=372, accessed September 9, 2008.

We would like to know what you think? dan@goldcoastchronicle.com

Source: Missingkids

Nurturing Your Kids

By Jum Burns, PhD
August 19, 2009

Parenting today is no easy task. I understand from my own experience the challenge of keeping the many areas of our kids’ lives on the radar screen so that we can help guide them into becoming healthy adults in every possible way: spiritually, physically and emotionally. Here is an easy to remember, ABC & D approach to nurturing you kids.

 

Affirmation. An affirmed child is a secure and confident child. Most often, the difference between kids who make it and kids who don’t is one caring adult. Even if you struggle with your teenager, I challenge you to believe in them! Most teenagers suffer from low self-esteem – and I almost always see this in cases where teens struggle with their parents. Kids with low self-esteem tend to become irresponsible. They make poor decisions socially, in regards to drugs and sexuality – and academically. Kids with low self-esteem often act out rebelliously with their parents. Their move to a lower standard of behavior is often due to the way they perceive of themselves. Parents can make a huge difference in helping their teenagers become responsible by affirming them, praising them and believing (even in the midst of struggle) in the person they can become.

 

Blameless Love.  Kids are going to mess up at times – it’s part of their ‘job description.’ When they do, they don’t need to be condemned by their parents. Rather, they need to know they’ll be loved and accepted (although they’ll have to live with the consequences of their actions, of course!) When your teen has wronged you, forgive them. Restore them. Move on. (See the story of Jesus and Simon Peter in the Gospel of John as an example of this.)

 

Connectedness.  This is a big one for me personally! Kids need to feel connected to their parents. Your children regard your presence as a sign of caring and connectedness (even when they don’t seem to do so!) Utilize the “Power of Being There.” This sounds so simple, but don’t underestimate the positive message you are giving your kids by watching those games, driving them all around the county or being with them in one of the hundreds of other ways you are present in their lives. You don’t have to be present with your kids 24/7, but your presence gives them a greater sense of security than almost anything else you can offer them. All studies on positive family living tell us that meaningful times families spend together are well worth it. Soccer moms: it’s worth it! Dads who leave work early to watch the game: it’s worth it. Single parents: as tired as you may be if you continue to find the time to go on special outings with your kids, you will reap the benefits now and later in your family life.

 

Discipline. Clearly expressed expectations and consistent follow-through produce responsible kids. The purpose of parental discipline is to teach responsibility. Unfortunately, for many of us parents, our primary objective is evoking obedience instead. And, to be perfectly honest, most of us try to do the “discipline thing” when we’re upset, tired, or frustrated . . . really in no shape to do so. Okay – so where do we begin? Well, for openers, recognize that good parenting involves training our children in the areas of choices and consequences. In fact, the guiding force for parenting is found in Proverbs 22:6 – “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Keep that promise in mind at all times when you are sticking to your strategy and you won’t be disappointed. When it comes to molding your children’s lives through discipline, our kids need us always to show respect, even in the midst of tension. We can disagree with our children and still be able to communicate. All relationships have conflict, but a relationship between two people whose spirits are open to each other can take the conflict in stride and work through it in love.

Source: Homeword

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

School Time Flu Shots

By LIBBY QUAID
L. NEERGAARD
August 19, 2009

 Hundreds of schools are heeding the government’s call to set up flu-shot clinics this fall, preparing for what could be the most widespread school vaccinations since the days of polio.

An Associated Press review of swine flu planning suggests there are nearly 3 million students in districts where officials want to offer the vaccine once federal health officials begin shipping it in mid-October.

Many more may get involved: The National Schools Boards Association told the AP three-quarters of the districts in a recent survey agreed to allow vaccinations in school buildings.

In South Carolina, “there will be a massive attempt to use schools as vaccination centers,” said state Superintendent Jim Rex. He plans at least one vaccination clinic in each of the state’s 85 school districts.

South Dakota started offering free children’s vaccination against regular winter flu in 2007, and this year it plans to offer both kinds in many schools, said state Health Secretary Doneen Hollingsworth.

Now come the difficult details: figuring out all the logistics in giving squirmy youngsters a shot in the arm or a squirt in the nose.

That’s in addition to measures being taken to keep the swine flu virus from spreading inside schools and to keep sick kids at home.

Already, Lee County, Miss., schools have reported a few cases of swine flu the first week of school, and a Louisiana high school football team reported 20 players sick or recovering from it.

To make sure students wash their hands, Minneapolis schools have outfitted every restroom with tamperproof soap dispensers, so students don’t horse around with soap. And the district has a no-excuses policy to keep them filled.

“It sounds so simple, but it works,” district emergency management director Craig Vana said.

Bismarck, N.D., is insisting that parents keep feverish children home. “We’re going to have to be a little firmer on that this year than in the past,” superintendent Paul Johnson said.

It can be hard to tell if a child has a bad cold or flu – and swine flu and regular flu share the same symptoms. For many schools, a 100-degree temperature automatically means sending a child home.

The goal is to keep schools open; federal officials said last week schools should close only as a last resort. The emergence of the never-before-seen flu strain last spring prompted more than 700 schools to temporarily close, giving students an unexpected vacation as parents scrambled to find child care.

Some big states, like California, Ohio and Massachusetts, are focusing on those steps and not on vaccinations, because they don’t know how much vaccine the federal government will send or when it will arrive. Boston has decided against in-school vaccinations because an attempt at regular winter flu inoculations at a middle school last year flopped, and Dallas officials also have decided against school shots.

But hundreds of districts are preparing for vaccinations. At least 700 health and school officials joined an online seminar last week by the National Association of County & City Health Officials on how to run school flu vaccinations.

The government is awaiting results of vaccine studies that began last week before making a final decision on whether and how to offer swine-flu inoculations. If vaccinations go forward, children are to be among the first in line. They could get vaccine at a variety of places, but federal officials want schools to play a starring role.

“The vaccine over time will be available to every child,” Education Secretary Arne Duncan said in an interview with the AP. “And I personally think the best place for them to have access would be at their local school or at a school in their neighborhood.”

An AP-GfK poll last month found parents like that convenience: Nearly two-thirds said they were likely to give permission if their child’s school offered vaccinations.

The school setting is attractive for many reasons, said Dr. Anne Schuchat of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Swine flu seems to strike the young most often, and it’s particularly easy to spread from child to child. Moreover, school-age children “don’t see doctors very often,” Schuchat told the AP, after they’ve accumulated the list of vaccinations required for school entry.

She added that it should be relatively easy for schools to offer flu-shot clinics because the federal government would be buying swine flu vaccine and sending it free to states.

“You won’t have to screen for insurance. That’s been a big challenge in school-associated regular flu-shot clinics,” Schuchat said. “That slows down the process.”

There is plenty of experience with vaccinating school kids for regular flu, and there is plenty of evidence it works.

For the fourth year running, Knox County, Tenn., vaccinated 30,000 children for free in schools and daycare centers last year. The county often closed schools because of winter flu outbreaks in the past, but it hasn’t since vaccinations began.

And in the last flu pandemic, in 1968, Tecumseh, Mich., vaccinated 85 percent of its school-age children, resulting in two-thirds less illness there than in a neighboring community.

There is an important difference with this year’s swine-flu inoculations: Health officials think two separate doses, about three weeks apart, will be needed. Studies are under way now to confirm that. If so, it means any school that offers the first shot must set up for each recipient to get the second dose.

Different school districts handle vaccinations differently. Some will offer only vaccine against the regular winter flu – also important, as both types are expected to hit this year. In Florida’s Pinellas County, which includes St. Petersburg, the health department won an economic stimulus grant to vaccinate every student at all 78 elementary schools against seasonal flu, said Rita Becchetti, supervisor of school health services.

That could be confusing for parents trying to remember which vaccine their child is getting.

Chicago, on the other hand, probably will have swine-flu shot clinics at select high schools, not elementary schools, saying it simply doesn’t have the workers to send teams to more than 600 schools.

Berkeley County, W.Va., is considering drive-thru vaccinations at its three high schools, said district official George Michael.

In New York City, swine flu exploded in the spring at Saint Francis Preparatory School, which sent home 102 sick kids in one day. Today, City Health Commissioner Dr. Thomas Farley’s first choice is for kids to get vaccinated by their own family doctors, but he’s looking into clinics at schools or other locations.

“There’s an awful lot of children who need to be vaccinated,” Farley said.

Once the decision is made to offer flu shots at school, there are still issues to be worked out.

Not only must a parent sign a permission form, but someone needs to make sure it’s filled out correctly and matches up with the kid. And there is staffing: Health professionals will need to administer shots and also check kids for reaction to the vaccine.

Schools will also need to decide whether parents should be present, said Brenda Greene, director of school health programs for the National School Boards Association.

“Are you going to do it at a time when the parents can be present, if they want?” Greene said. “I’ve heard the kids are more panicky when their parents are around than when they’re not.”

Knox County, Tenn., has always used FluMist, the nasal spray flu vaccine, to eliminate that concern, and will again this year in school vaccinations against regular flu. But most of the swine flu vaccine supply will be in shot form, and program director Jennifer Johnson hasn’t decided whether to offer that in schools, too. She said one possibility is to inoculate kids at elementary schools after-hours, so parents could hold scared youngsters and then be vaccinated themselves.

The nasal spray is popular. Last year, FluMist maker MedImmune said it sent about 450,000 doses of the nasal spray vaccine to 140 school vaccination programs. The company expects FluMist vaccinations against regular winter flu to nearly double in schools this year.

Duncan, the education secretary, understands the more immediate issue for many schools is the start of the new school year. Once kids are back in class, “you want to get parents focused on the vaccine,” he said.

In St. Paul, Minn., vaccinations are on the back burner until school gets under way after Labor Day, said Ann Hoxie, assistant director of student health and wellness.

“It’s not going to be the first thing on everybody’s mind. Reading and writing remain at the top of the list,” Hoxie said.

Editor’s Note: Contributing to this story from the states were Associated Press writers Seanna Adcox, Christine Armario, Donna Blankinship, Terry Chea, Sandra Chereb, Bob Christie, Beth DeFalco, Melinda Deslatte, P.J. Dickerscheid, Jennifer Dobner, Elizabeth Dunbar, Benjamin Greene, Samantha Gross, Amy Beth Hanson, Carla K. Johnson, Dirk Lammers, Sarah Larimer, Matthew Leingang, Jay Lindsay, Deanna Martin, William McCall, Phyllis Mensing, Shaya Mohajer, Jean Ortiz, Dinesh Ramde, Monica Rhor, Barbara Rodriguez, Zinie Chen Sampson, Jamie Stengle, Nafeesa Syeed, Emily Wagster Pettus and Chris Williams.

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Copyright 2009 Associated Press. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Play, Paint, Think, Create

by Mimi Brodsky Chenfeld
August 18, 2009

Nurture a child’s creative expression to encourage learning and laughter.

The great artist Pablo Picasso always wanted to be able to paint like a child. He understood that children are the most original, unique, free-spirited members of our great family. Before they are taught anything, children see the world with fresh eyes. Their responses are honest and imaginative.

Recently, I took a trip to an apple orchard with a group of 3-year-olds. We celebrated afterward by dancing, making music, and recounting the adventure in story. We grew our bodies into trees, turned our arms into branches, and swayed as the wind blew our leaves. We sprouted apples and picked the fruit off our own limbs. I asked, “What color are your apples?” Without hesitation, the children called out, “My apple is pink!” “Mine is purple!” “Blue!” We had a rainbow of apples! There was no inhibition, no one saying, “This is silly!” or “That’s not right!”

Tap Into the Creative Spirit
We humans learn in a variety of ways. All of them have value. Some, however, are more valued than others. Creative expression could use more acknowledgement a lot more. It’s how children make meaning of the world, whether it’s through song, music, movement, play, painting, story, or poetry. In fact, many children are already singing, dancing, storytelling, and choreographing, before they start school. Why is that? Because we all come into this world with the need to create. It’s in our genes, and the arts are the basic way we express that need.

Our current fixation with standardized testing does a great disservice to our children. Putting labels on our children, ranking them on percentage charts, turns them into soulless commodities. They’re far more complex. They learn in their own ways, at their own speeds.

Creativity is the noble, delicious antidote for this stifling approach. It connects, clarifies, and enriches. But creativity is not a strategy or a technique. It’s not scheduled for Wednesdays after dinner if homework is finished. It’s a way of being and thinking, teaching and parenting.

Our greatest role in protecting the creative spirit within our children is to be open to their originality and questions, join in with their playful thinking, and appreciate their singing, building, and painting. To do that, we need to embody the qualities of the creative spirit that come naturally to our children: enthusiasm, excitement, spontaneity, playfulness, and imagination. But in the midst of our fragmented lives, how do we celebrate and exercise our creative spirit? My four “little nudges” can help. (See below.) Try them with your child. They’ll help you get into the moment alongside her.

Creativity is our birthright. The qualities we associate with creativity are gifts we all receive as we begin our amazing life journeys. Feel free to value it, honor it, and worship it.

Four Little Nudges

These simple tips can help stimulate the creative spirit in you and your child.

Ask, What else? The minute you hear or say the words, “what else?” your mind begins churning and whirling. What else can you add to a party, a trip, a painting, a song? The words help us expand our horizons and remind us that there is always more to discover, to learn, to ask, to wonder about. When a child comes to you with the words, “I’m done!” spark his creative juices with, “What else can you think of?”

Ask, What if? These are the key words of imagination. What if we changed the colors? What if we found buried treasure? What if we could understand the language of animals? The words open a world of possibilities. Listen to young children play, and you’ll hear what if in their imaginative games. Far too soon, this playful invitation often shrivels up in the wake of super-structured, highly programmed activities.

Show the idea! Sometimes, pictures speak louder than words. So demonstrate an idea in pictures, in music, in dance, sculpture, graphs, through an interview, using puppets in any way that communicates. Showing ideas gives validity to different ways of learning and comprehending. Plus, it’s fun and satisfying to experiment with different ways to convey ideas.

Fake it! This nudge is for you if your child expects you to always have the right answer. Don’t know how to do something perfectly? Take a stab at it! Make believe you can do it. Faking it gives you courage. It moves you beyond “I can’t” or “I won’t.” It also invites participation and encourages involvement by granting permission to try something new or different. As role models for our children, we must be brave.

This article originally appeared on scholastic.com. Scholastic Inc.

Source: Grand Parents

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

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