Preparing for Your Kids’ Adolescence
By Jim Burns, Ph.D.
July 29, 2009
The first precious days and weeks of a child’s life are filled with awe and wonder for parents. The “terrible two’s” of toddler-hood may seem like a challenge at times but they’re eventually outgrown. The first day of kindergarten seems to come and go all too quickly leading to the elementary school years when the moods of children can leave parents exhilarated one minute – and exhausted the next. And then, suddenly, the rude awakening of adolescence takes over!
The adolescent years seem to hit from out of nowhere and they often leave parents wondering exactly what has happened to that relatively intelligent and well-mannered child they used to call their son or daughter. Well, while it’s true there is no way you can accurately predict exactly when adolescence will begin, there is a way you can begin preparing for it so that it doesn’t seem like such a startling jolt when it does hit (and believe me, it will!)
Dave and Claudia Arp wrote a book a groundbreaking book on this topic of preparing for your kids’ adolescence. It was a huge help to Cathy and me when each of our three daughters hit the teen years. The book is called, Suddenly They’re 13 (Or, “The Art of Hugging a Cactus”)
In it, they outline “4 Steps for Preparing for Your Kids’ Adolescence” that have proven to be most helpful:
Regroup. Too many of us, as parents, are trying to parent our teen and pre-teenage children the same way we did when they were toddlers. Well, that’s not going to work. Call a “timeout” for yourselves, Mom and Dad, and go out for some coffee, dinner or whatever works for you both and reassess your situation with your kids. You’ve got to be a bit more flexible during the teen years, but temper that flexibility by remaining fair and firm.
Release. Be sure to mark the milestones in the lives of each of your kids. Their 13th birthday is a big one. So is the day they get their driver’s license, or have their curfew extended for reaching a particular age or goal you’ve set for them. In doing so, you’re not only rewarding their good behavior, you’re also releasing them from childhood into adulthood in small, age-appropriate steps.
Relate. This is sometimes tough as the “communication bridge” between our kids and us isn’t always working. A good objective is to “Listen more – Lecture less.” It’s also helpful when you remember to “Major on the majors” and “Minor in the minors.” In other words, try not to make a big deal out of issues that really may not be all that important while keeping an eye open for big life issues.
Relax. It always amazes me when I hear from a parent who has grown overly concerned when his or her child begins “acting weird” right around his or her 13th birthday. It’s then I have to remind this parent that adolescence is perfectly normal! We all went through it and we lived to tell the tale. Our kids will also. Of course, relaxing does not give you a “free pass” to shy away from instructing and correcting your kids – on the contrary! Just strive to be fair, firm and consistent with the discipline and you should be fine.
Finally, let me add a “Burns Bonus” fifth “R” to the list – and that is:
Remember. Don’t keep score of every little mistake your son or daughter makes during his or her adolescent years. Rather, remember what kinds of things you went through when you were a teenager and how your own parents handled things when you messed up. Were they compassionate? Irrational? Understanding? Borrow from their good examples and learn from the bad. (And, also Remember who will be taking care of you eventually as you get older. Good instruction coupled with understanding and compassion now could make your “golden years” a lot sweeter! )
Enjoy your kids’ adolescence. These are fun and foundational years for them — and for you!
Source: (Based on principles included in the book, Suddenly They’re 13: The Art of Hugging a Cactus by Dave and Claudia Arp.)
Source: Home Word
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
The 10-year-old who helped Apollo 11, 40 years later
By Rachel Rodriguez
CNN
July 29, 2009
On July 23, 1969, as Apollo 11 hurtled back towards Earth, there was a problem — a problem only a kid could solve.
It sounds like something out of a movie, but that’s what it came down to as Apollo 11 sped back towards Earth after landing on the moon in 1969.
It was around 10:00 at night on July 23, and 10-year-old Greg Force was at home with his mom and three brothers. His father, Charles Force, was at work. Charles Force was the director of the NASA tracking station in Guam, where the family was living.
The Guam tracking station was to play a critical role in the return of Apollo 11 to Earth. A powerful antenna there connected NASA communications with Apollo 11, and the antenna was the only way for NASA to make its last communications with the astronauts before splashdown. But at the last minute on that night, a bearing in the antenna failed, rendering it nearly useless.
To properly replace the bearing would have required dismantling the entire antenna, and there was simply no time. So Charles Force thought of a creative solution: If he could get more grease around the failed bearing, it would probably be fine. The only problem was, nobody at the station had an arm small enough to actually reach in through the two-and-a-half inch opening and pack grease around the bearing.
And that’s when Greg was called in to save the day. Charles Force sent someone out to his home to pick up Greg. Once at the tracking station, Greg reached into the tiny hole and packed grease around the failed bearing. It worked, and the station was able to successfully complete its communications role in the mission. Apollo 11 splashed down safely the next day.
At the time, Greg didn’t think what he was doing was a big deal, and 40 years later, he’s still modest about his role in the mission.
“That’s all I did, was put my hand in and put grease on it,” he says. If he hadn’t been there, NASA would not have been able to make its last communications with the mission before splashdown, but Greg says “it wasn’t life or death, [from] my understanding.”
“My dad explained to me why it was important,” he says, “but it kind of caught me by surprise afterwards, all the attention.” iReport.com: Read Greg’s firsthand account.
That attention came from the media and even the astronauts themselves. Greg’s small but important part in Apollo 11 was a story told by news outlets around the world. He even got a nice thank-you note from Neil Armstrong, whom he met when Armstrong went on a tour of NASA stations with the other astronauts to thank the staff after the mission. “To Greg,” reads the note, which Armstrong wrote on a newspaper clipping of Greg’s story, “with thanks for your help on Apollo 11. Neil Armstrong.”
Perhaps not surprisingly, like many other kids who grew up during the Apollo era, Greg dreamed of becoming an astronaut. He says he remembers visiting his dad’s office to listen to astronauts communicating with NASA officials on the ground.
“We could sit and listen to the actual communication with the astronauts as it was happening, and it was hard to understand, but I loved to do that,” he says. “On Guam we didn’t have good television coverage, so I think I listened to the [moon] landing on the radio. To me it was a huge thing.”
Greg pursued his dreams of space exploration all the way through college, where he majored in physics. Unfortunately, he was unable to pass the vision test for the space program because of his colorblindness, but even that couldn’t squelch his interest. Greg went on to get his pilot’s license, and even though his career now as a gymnastics school owner isn’t exactly space-related, he says that “ever since then, I’ve followed the space program.”
And as a lover of space exploration, Greg hopes to see more missions to the moon.
“I think it would be an important step as far as going further, like to Mars,” he says. “I would love to see us go back to the moon.”
But for now, on the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, he can remember the small but crucial role he played in bringing Apollo 11 home safely.
“It kind of caught me by surprise,” he says, “but I’m real proud to have been even a little tiny part of it.” iReport.com: See more photos of Greg with his father and Armstrong.
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Animation Student Wins Moon Art And Design Contest
By NASA/PIO
July 28, 2009
Zachary Madere could not believe his eyes when he read the e-mail announcing his first place win in NASA’s Life and Work on the Moon Art & Design Contest.
Zachary, a student majoring in Illustration and Two Dimensional Animation at the Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design, had come home late after a long night of work, with a plan to go straight to bed. Before getting his much needed sleep, though, he decided to give his e-mail a quick check. What he saw dashed away any need for rest. He had been notified as the first place winner with “Best Overall Score” for his oil painting, “Crater Core Sample.”
“I was not expecting it at all,” the soft-spoken art student said, disbelief still in his voice. “I started jumping around and screaming, accidentally knocking down some furniture. Right away I shared the news with my roommate, an artist who’s like a brother to me. It was really exciting!”
Zachary learned of the contest, which is sponsored by NASA’s Langley Research Center in Hampton, Va., through his father, who is fascinated with space. He sent his son information about the competition as well as articles about the moon. One story in particular caught Zachary’s eye.
“I read an article about finding and using water on the moon, and I was really intrigued by it. Discovering water on the lunar surface and using it for something, like radiation shielding, seemed like an amazing idea.”
It was just the inspiration he needed.
Zachary started planning and sketching ideas. He did his research work, too. When he had questions about details, such as shadows on the moon or radiation shielding, he contacted a Denver University professor to ensure that he understood the concepts correctly.
The end result was “Crater Core Sample,” an oil painting featuring an astronaut holding an icy cylinder in a darkened crater, while two other astronauts look on. It is a compelling piece of art, evoking a sense of wonder and discovery.
Winners and winning entries took all forms this year, as evidenced by a former stay-at-home mom who submitted a sculpture entitled “Dark Side of the Moon.” Kristine Beam, who attends Winston-Salem State University in North Carolina, placed first in the three-dimensional category. Kristine was encouraged to enter the contest by her professor, Leo Morissey. Much like Zachary, Kristine was astonished about her win, and also very humbled.
“I was quite taken aback,” she said. “I was satisfied with my work, but I wasn’t expecting recognition, and I certainly wasn’t expecting to win first place. Creating the sculpture and entering the contest was actually part of my class assignment; if my professor had not encouraged me, I may not have entered at all!”
Regarding her work, Kristine states that, “The sculpture is created in such a way that the viewer can be part of the artwork. A mirror is part of the sculpture’s design, and as you look into the mirror and see your reflection, you can contemplate working and living on the moon, as well as the enormity of the universe.”
In contrast to the visually appealing art entries, one first place winning work cannot be seen at all, but instead, must be heard.
Matthew Bruemmer, a 16-year-old student from Ronald Reagan High School in San Antonio, Texas, placed first in the high school digital category with his classical symphony entitled, “Back to the Moon.”
Matthew, who hopes to work for NASA as an aeronautical engineer, designed his symphony to represent an astronaut’s voyage to the moon. The beginning of his melody represents lift-off, the piano solo in the middle represents the ethereal feeling of floating in space and the ending represents landing on the moon.
“I’ve always been interested in everything NASA does,” Matthew said. “I learned about the contest on NASA’s web-site and started working on my symphony right away; I was really excited when I found out I had won first place!”
Zachary, Kristine and Matthew’s art entries were some of more than 90
imaginative and inventive submissions from both the college and high school level. Other students also deserve praise for their entries, which include two-dimensional artwork, sculpture, three-dimensional art, digital art and video.
Altogether, a total of 147 students from more than 70 institutions participated as teams or individually, with entries from 25 U.S. states, France, Poland, India and Romania. Judges rated the art based on originality, creativity, artistic elements, and if the concept was valid for harsh lunar conditions.
The first place winners will be recognized on July 20, at the National Air & Space Museum in Washington, D.C., as part of a celebration marking the 40th anniversary of the first Apollo landing. Later, the winning art will be displayed at NASA facilities, public venues and elsewhere as requested.
The goal of NASA’s Life and Work on the Moon Art & Design Contest is to engage non-science and engineering students in NASA’s exploration mission. Next year’s contest will open in September and will be expanded to include a literature section.
To view the gallery of entries and learn more about the contest, visit: For more information about NASA and agency programs, visit:
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Hubble Space Telescope Captures Rare Jupiter Collision
By NASA/PIO
July 27, 2009
NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope has taken the sharpest visible-light picture yet of atmospheric debris from an object that collided with Jupiter on July 19. NASA scientists decided to interrupt the recently refurbished observatory’s checkout and calibration to take the image of a new, expanding spot on the giant planet on July 23.
Discovered by Australian amateur astronomer Anthony Wesley, the spot was created when a small comet or asteroid plunged into Jupiter’s atmosphere and disintegrated. The only other time such a feature has been seen on Jupiter was 15 years ago after the collision of fragments from comet Shoemaker-Levy 9.
“Because we believe this magnitude of impact is rare, we are very fortunate to see it with Hubble,” said Amy Simon-Miller of NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md. “Details seen in the Hubble view shows a lumpiness to the debris plume caused by turbulence in Jupiter’s atmosphere.”
The new Hubble images also confirm that a May servicing visit by space shuttle astronauts was a big success.
“This image of the impact on Jupiter is fantastic,” said U.S. Sen. Barbara A. Mikulski, D-Md., chairwoman of the Commerce, Justice and Science Appropriations Subcommittee. “It tells us that our astronauts and the ground crew at the Goddard Space Flight Center successfully repaired the Hubble telescope. I’m so proud of them and I can’t wait to see what’s next from Hubble.”
For the past several days, Earth-based telescopes have been trained on Jupiter. To capture the unfolding drama 360 million miles away, Matt Mountain, director of the Space Telescope Science Institute in Baltimore, gave observation time to a team of astronomers led by Heidi Hammel of the Space Science Institute in Boulder, Colo.
“Hubble’s truly exquisite imaging capability has revealed an astonishing wealth of detail in the impact site,” Hammel said. “By combining these images with our ground-based data at other wavelengths, our Hubble data will allow a comprehensive understanding of exactly what is happening to the impact debris.”
Simon-Miller estimated the diameter of the impacting object was the size of several football fields. The force of the explosion on Jupiter was thousands of times more powerful than the suspected comet or asteroid that exploded over the Siberian Tunguska River Valley in June 1908.
The image was taken with the Wide Field Camera 3. The new camera, installed by the astronauts aboard space shuttle Atlantis in May, is not yet fully calibrated. While it is possible to obtain celestial images, the camera’s full power has yet to be seen.
“This is just one example of what Hubble’s new, state-of-the-art camera can do, thanks to the STS-125 astronauts and the entire Hubble team,” said Ed Weiler, associate administrator of NASA’s Science Mission Directorate in Washington. “However, the best is yet to come.”
Editor’s Note: picture, taken on July 23, by the new Wide Field Camera 3, is the sharpest visible-light picture taken of thes Hubble’s first science observation following its repair and upgrade in May. The size of the impactor is estimated to be as large as several football fields.ESA, and H. Hammel (Space Science Institute, Boulder, Colo.), and the Jupiter Impact Team
Image Credit: NASA,
The Following links can help educate your child about NASA and have fun at the same time: Space Your Face NASA’s Kids Club
We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Source: NASA
What is GOD like……
By Unknown
July 24, 2009
Editor’s Note: One of our readers recently sent this to us. And I would love to share it with you. We look forward to receiving others.
We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Recently a fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God.
Here are some of the results:
God is like… BAYER ASPIRIN He works miracles.
God is like a FORD He’s got a better idea…
God is like…COKE He’s the real thing.
God is like…HALLMARK CARDS. He cares enough to send His very best.
God is like…TIDE He gets the stains out that others leave behind..
God is like…GENERAL ELECTRIC. He brings good things to life.
God is like… SEARS He has everything.
God is like…ALKA-SELTZER Try Him, you’ll like Him
God is like…SCOTCH TAPE You can’t see Him, but you know He’s there.
God is like…DELTA He’s ready when you are…
God is like…ALLSTATE You’re in good hands with Him.
God is like… VO-5 Hair Spray; He holds through all kinds of weather
God is like. DIAL SOAP Aren’t you glad you have Him? Don’t you wish everybody did?
God is like . the U.S. POST OFFICE Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from. His appointed destination.
God is like. Chevrolet…the heart beat of America
God is like Maxwell House. . . Good to the very last drop.
Compassion Begins at Home
By Kelly L. Stone
M.S., L.P.C.
July 22, 2009
Children learn what they live, says the famous poem by Dorothy Law Nolte, and that includes compassion. Compassion is defined as having consideration for or showing kindness toward. Having the capacity to feel and show compassion is so important that the Search institute, a nonprofit organization that conducts research to advance the well-being of children, considers it a cornerstone for developing a sense of purpose in life. According to Dr. Peter C. Scales, a Senior Fellow at the Search Institute, having compassion for other life forms, be they human, animal, or plant, lays the foundation for growing children into well-adjusted adults who are contributing members of society.
But with so much of our children’s time spent away from the home these days, and with so much influence from factors that are beyond the scope of parental control, what can parents do to create a home environment that will nurture a budding compassion? The answers may be simpler than you think.
1) Help your child see that her life has a purpose. “In the elementary and middle school years,” says Dr. Scales, “children are developing a sense of what they can do and what their interests are. Parents can intentionally shape a sense of purpose by influencing the nature of their child’s activities.” Dr. Scales suggests creating opportunities for children to participate in religious or spiritual pursuits, volunteer work, and introducing them to people who are passionate about their work. “Parents should expose their children to as much as they can but ultimately it is the child’s own mix of interests, talents, and values that will guide their life.”
2) Third grade teacher Melanie Walrath says that the holidays are the perfect time to help teach children compassion. “Children can go through their toys and choose some they want to donate to Toys for Tots or a similar organization. Or have a garage sale for the items they choose– and I think children should choose what they want to sell for them to really learn compassion– and use the money they make to buy Christmas gifts or donate it to charity.”
3) Make decisions based on how it will effect the next seven generations, advises an old Native American saying. When selecting a Christmas tree, why not purchase something alive, and that will stay alive, instead of the usual dead tree that ends up in a landfill a month after the holidays? Purchase a live cypress tree and plant it in your yard after the holidays are over. Not only will you be contributing to the betterment of the earth’s environment, you will have growing trees in your yard that remind you of cherished memories for years to come.
4) Arrange for children to spend time volunteering for a cause they feel passionate about . But keep in mind that volunteering isn’t just about putting in the hours– the word passion isn’t in the word compassionate for no reason. Teens and pre-teens only feel the power of donating their life energy when they give of their time to causes they personally feel are important. When I volunteered with a local animal rescue group, there were 3 teen-agers who consistently showed up on Saturdays to help. These kids made sure the dogs had clean water, took them out of the crates for walks, and in general looked out for the dogs while the adult volunteers were busy with paperwork and interviews of potential adopters. These youngsters were passionate about helping end the senseless killing of homeless dogs and it showed- they were always there, on time, and happily and quietly went about their work with no instructions from the adults. The only reward they were looking for, and frequently got, was when a previously homeless dog walked off with a new family.
5) Put your money where your mouth is! Buy recycled toilet paper and other goods. Establish a compost heap in your yard and decompose as much kitchen waste as possible. Buy in bulk to reduce the amount of packaging you throw away. Teach children to recycle items from their school lunches, like plastic bags, milk cartons, and plastic utensils.
6) Look for alternatives to entertainment events that exploit wild animals. Sadly, there are many documented cases of abuse and neglect of circus animals. Attending a non-animal circus, such as Cirque du Soleil, teaches children how to put the values in their heart into real-life practice. Check out http://www.hsus.org/ace/13110 or http://www.circusofthekids.com for an animal free circus near you.
7) Talk to children about their values. What’s important to them? What do they see as the biggest problems with our world today? And what do they think they can do to help? Dr. Scales says that children need a sense of personal power along with compassion. “Personal Power is self-efficacy, the sense that I can make a difference,” he explains. Feeling effective at a young age establishes the ability to set and work toward goals later in life. “Parents build personal power from the youngest ages when they allow children to have a continuously growing sense of their emerging capacity to make decisions.”
Barbara Locasio, a licensed clinical social worker in Grayson, Georgia, advises, “Start listening deeply early on and asking questions about what you hear to help you learn more about how your child sees her world. Your child is a unique being, bringing to earth their individual gifts and wisdom. Nurturing and assisting in the blossoming of this essence, I believe, is a parent’s most important job.”
Albert Schweitzer is credited with saying, “the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” Teach your children that every action they take on behalf of another living entity works for a higher good, even if they can’t see the end result and no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time. As spiritual leaders have been telling us since the dawn of time, everything we do returns to us ten-fold. Teach your children to be compassionate for compassion’s sake, and watch their young hearts blossom.
Editor’s Note: Kelly L. Stone holds a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Florida State University. She is a Writer & Licensed Professional Counselor who has worked with children and families for 20 years. Contact her through her website at www.kellylstone.com.
Source: Compassionate Kids
Signs Your Teenager May Be Depressed
By Jim Burns
July 20, 2009
The teenage years are an emotional rollercoaster – I mean, in all honesty, which of us parents would willingly go back and relive our junior or high school years all over again?
The happy times for a teenager can be utterly sensational . . . but the “down times” are very real as well. A recent national survey reported that many teens experience feelings of depression and sadness that often go untreated – and that 9 out of 10 adolescents have periods of depression that last at least two weeks.
So, what’s a parent to do? Well, a good place to start is identifying whether or not your child has a problem. And, to do that, it’s worth considering how many different types of depression there are.
There are actually four varieties of the illness:
Reactive Depression The most common form of mood problem in children and adolescents, it’s also the least serious. Reactive Depression is a depressed state brought on by difficulty adjusting to a disturbing circumstance. This could involve something as serious as the loss of a parent or as relatively inconsequential as a rejection or slight from a good friend. It usually lasts anywhere from a few hours to a couple of weeks, but it’s not considered to be a mental disorder.
Bipolar Disorder Also known as “manic depression,” this is characterized by unusual shifts in mood and energy. Though not as common in young people, the condition frequently begins with a depressive episode during adolescence.
Dysthymic Disorder A milder but more chronic depression also known as “dysthymia.” It is a low-level depression that is felt most of the day most days, and continues for years. In adolescents, the average duration is four years – meaning that they spend virtually their entire adolescence in a depressed state.
Major Depressive Disorder A serious depression that in adolescents lasts for seven to nine months on average. It has many similarities to adult depression – sadness, pessimism, sleep and appetite disturbance – but in other ways it is distinct. (For example – anxiety symptoms and irritability are more common in depressed teenagers than adults.)
Adolescents frequently have the “atypical” form of MDD. This is characterized by being overly sensitive to the environment and responding to perceived negative interactions, with symptoms opposite from the “classic” picture (e.g. overeating or sleeping too much, rather than too little).
NOTE: Double Depression is a combination of Dysthymic Disorder and MDD – a depression that is both serious and chronic.
So . . . how can you tell if your teenager is depressed?
1. Is he or she always sad or in an irritable mood?
2. Has he or she lost interest in something he or she previously enjoyed?
3. Have you noticed a significant change in his or her eating patterns? (Has your son seemed to “lose” his appetite – or has your “figure-conscious” daughter become a “chow hound?”)
4. Is your former “early riser” now sleeping in considerably longer?
5. Does he or she have trouble concentrating on projects that “never used to be a problem before?”
6. Has your son or daughter recently begun expressing feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt?
7. Do they fear death?
8. Is your son or daughter experiencing excessive boredom?
9. Is your son or daughter prone to sudden outbursts of shouting, complaining, unexplained irritability or crying?
10. Has your son or daughter recently begun complaining about frequent vague, unspecific physical ailments?
If anything on the list applies to your child, he or she may be dealing with depression. Get help – and get it today!
Source: Home Word
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Helping Your Kids Become Champions in Life
by Jim Burns Ph.D.
Pat Williams
July 22, 2009
What does it take to become a champion in life? Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing Pat Williams, who has worked in the sports world for four decades. Currently, Pat is the Senior Executive Vice President for the Orlando Magic, one of the teams in the National Basketball League. Both in his professional life and at home, Pat has proven over the years that he knows what it takes to build a champion.
Together, we were able to discuss his new book, Who Wants to be a Champion?, in which Pat shares his knowledge on what it takes to become a champion in life. As parents, we can help our kids become champions as we commit to laying a solid emotional and spiritual foundation for them, and as we make the effort to believe in their potential to become all who God has designed them to become. Here are Pat’s “10 Building Blocks for Helping Your Kids Become Champions in Life.”
1. Encourage them to think the right kinds of thoughts. Every action – whether good or bad – begins as a simple thought. Therefore, it’s vitally important that we teach our kids to exercise control over their thought life. Kids who become champions learn to think positive thoughts, correct thoughts, big thoughts, pure thoughts and unique thoughts. Train your kids to think on only things that are good and beneficial. See Philippians 4:8.
2. Encourage them to set goals. We need to help our kids set realistic, specific and attainable short-term and long-term goals. In order to be a champion in any area of life, kids must be taught that goal-setting is the way to turn their dreams into reality.
3. Encourage them to choose the right kinds of friends. To a great degree, the kinds of friends your kids choose will determine how they think, speak and act. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that “bad company corrupts good character,” and it’s our job as parents to help steer our kids in the right direction when it comes to the friends they choose to associate with. “Coach” your kids by offering occasional words of advice, words of wisdom and words of encouragement, and you’ll help them choose the right kinds of friends.
4. Encourage them to never give up. Some of the most successful businessmen and women, athletes, and leaders today are not necessarily the most talented or most gifted. Take David Eckstein of the St. Louis Cardinals for example. David is 5’7’’ and weighs 165 lbs., which is considered too small by today’s standards in any professional sport. All his life, David was told he would never make it in baseball, but he never gave up. His persistence in the face of overwhelming odds paid off, and today he is seen as one of the premiere shortstops in the major leagues; he was an integral part of the 2002 Anaheim Angels World Series championship team. When we help our kids become the kind of people who never give up, not only will they be amazed at what they can accomplish, they will become a conduit through which God can work in mighty ways!
5. Encourage them to live by faith. In John 10:10, it’s recorded that Jesus said that He came that we “may have life, and have it to the full.” Without Him, it’s impossible to be a true champion in life, and this message must be communicated to our kids. They need to know – and see by our example – that living by faith is an exciting adventure, and that by giving their lives to Christ, then, and only then, will they be able to live life to the fullest.
6. Encourage them to say the right kinds of words. More than any other way, people judge us by the words we speak. Kids need to understand that, whether they like it or not, the person who speaks clearly, articulately and confidently is much more likely to become a champion in life. As parents, we can help them speak this way by encouraging them to speak words that are positive, speak the truth in love, listen before they speak and steer clear of using profanity.
7. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions. True champions understand that they are responsible for their actions. Instead of whining and complaining about their difficulties, they strive to do their best with the hands they’ve been dealt. We need to help our kids take responsibility for their actions and decisions, which means we will need to let them experience and learn from failure.
8. Encourage them to turn their failures into strengths. When troubles come, we need to help our kids learn to make the most of them. We need to teach our kids how to give their failures to God and allow Him to use them for His glory and for their benefit. The Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:10 that he delighted “in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” When our kids are at their weakest is when God has the chance to be His strongest in their lives.
9. Encourage them to go the extra mile. Kids need to understand that hard work will help them overcome many of life’s obstacles. They can have unbelievable intelligence, great connections, and have opportunities fall out of the sky, but in the end, hard work is the true enduring characteristic of a champion. We read in 1 Corinthians 10:3, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” The glory of God is what motivates true champions to go the extra mile in all areas of their lives.
10. Encourage them to remember that character counts. Kids need to understand that if they want to be champions in life, then they must be people of honesty and integrity. It’s almost impossible to overestimate the importance of character. An absence of character is responsible for much of the trouble the human race has experienced. We must teach our kids that character – what they do when they know they can get away with anything – is vital not only to their success in life, but also to being useful to the Lord.
Editor’s Note: Adapted from Who Wants to Be a Champion? (2005) by Pat Williams, Howard Publishing.
We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Source: Home Word
40th anniversary Moon Walk
By Kem Knapp Sawyer
July 22, 2009
Editor’s Note: Apollo 11 Astronaut Buzz Aldrin’s bootprint. Aldrin photographed this bootprint on July 20, 1969, as part of investigations into the soil of the moon’s surface. (Photo: NASA)
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One million people watched from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida as the ship’s engines fired and flames and smoke filled the sky. At 9:32 a.m., on July 16, 1969, Apollo 11 lifted off.
Three astronauts, Neil Armstrong, Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, and Michael Collins, were on board the spaceship—and on their way into history. Armstrong and Aldrin would become the first humans to set foot on the moon.
On Their Way
After blastoff, Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins settled into the command module, the part of the spacecraft called the Columbia. On July 19, three days after liftoff, the astronauts saw the moon up close for the first time.
Armstrong and Aldrin boarded the Eagle, the lunar module. That part of the spacecraft would separate from the Columbia and take them to the moon. Collins was to remain behind to pilot the Columbia.
When the lunar module undocked from the Columbia, Armstrong radioed to Earth: “The Eagle has wings.”
Moon Trek
Finding a clear spot on which to land took longer than Armstrong and Aldrin had expected. Eagle was running dangerously low on fuel by the time the astronauts found a good site for the touchdown. There were only 30 seconds to spare when the Eagle finally landed.
Armstrong was first to descend the ladder to the lunar surface. As he stepped onto the moon, he said: “That’s one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.” About 600 million people worldwide watched on television as he took that step.
Aldrin soon joined Armstrong. The astronauts spent 2 hours and 14 minutes on the moon. During that time, the astronauts took photographs of the moon’s surface. They also set up scientific experiments, including one to test for moonquakes.
Before heading back to the Columbia, Aldrin and Armstrong placed a U.S. flag in the ground. With it they left a plaque that read, “We came in peace for all mankind.”
After reconnecting with Collins at Columbia, the three astronauts headed back to Earth. On July 24, Columbia splashed down in the Pacific Ocean, returning everyone safely.
Everyone’s Success
Putting men on the moon was a huge accomplishment for America. The success of Apollo 11 increased our knowledge of the moon, sun, and Earth, and helped pave the way for future space exploration for all humanity. Aldrin believes that’s the point. “The ultimate goal of human and robotic activity in space is to benefit mankind,” he told Scholastic News.
The mission’s success was a result of teamwork. More than 400,000 people—from flight directors and teachers to space-suit designers—played a role in it.
Chris Kraft was the director of Mission Control at the time. Gene Kranz was the flight director in charge of Apollo 11. Both men take tremendous pride in the mission—and speak with great anticipation of the possibilities that lie ahead.
Kraft foresees a time when nations will band together to build a permanent station on the moon. America’s space agency, NASA, has a similar vision. It has plans for a moon base and even human missions to Mars.
Kranz wants young people to become aware of the many opportunities in the space program. To those who show an interest, he offers five words of advice: “Dream. Aim high. Never surrender.”
Source: Scholastic News Online
Our Children Are in Danger – Cutting
by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD
July 20, 2009
Emma’s mom first noticed the cuts when Emma was doing the dishes one night. Emma told her mom that their cat had scratched her. Her mom seemed surprised that the cat had been so rough, but she didn’t think much more about it.
Emma’s friends had noticed something strange as well. Even when the weather was hot, Emma wore long-sleeved shirts. She had become secretive, too, like something was bothering her. But Emma couldn’t seem to find the words to tell her mom or her friends that the marks on her arms were from something that she had done. She was cutting herself with a razor when she felt sad or upset.
Injuring yourself on purpose by making scratches or cuts on your body with a sharp object — enough to break the skin and make it bleed — is called cutting. Cutting is a type of self-injury, or SI. Most people who cut are girls, but guys self-injure, too. People who cut usually start cutting in their young teens. Some continue to cut into adulthood.
People may cut themselves on their wrists, arms, legs, or bellies. Some people self-injure by burning their skin with the end of a cigarette or lighted match.
When cuts or burns heal, they often leave scars or marks. People who injure themselves usually hide the cuts and marks and sometimes no one else knows
Why Do People Cut Themselves?
It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can’t change.
Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional pain or pressure. Some people cut to express strong feelings of rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing, or emptiness.
There are other ways to cope with difficulties, even big problems and terrible emotional pain. The help of a mental health professional might be needed for major life troubles or overwhelming emotions. For other tough situations or strong emotions, it can help put things in perspective to talk problems over with parents, other adults, or friends. Getting plenty of exercise can also help put problems in perspective and help balance emotions.
But people who cut may not have developed ways to cope. Or their coping skills may be overpowered by emotions that are too intense. When emotions don’t get expressed in a healthy way, tension can build up — sometimes to a point where it seems almost unbearable. Cutting may be an attempt to relieve that extreme tension. For some, it seems like a way of feeling in control.
The urge to cut might be triggered by strong feelings the person can’t express — such as anger, hurt, shame, frustration, or alienation. People who cut sometimes say they feel they don’t fit in or that no one understands them. A person might cut because of losing someone close or to escape a sense of emptiness. Cutting might seem like the only way to find relief or express personal pain over relationships or rejection.
People who cut or self-injure sometimes have other mental health problems that contribute to their emotional tension. Cutting is sometimes (but not always) associated with depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive thinking, or compulsive behaviors. It can also be a sign of mental health problems that cause people to have trouble controlling their impulses or to take unnecessary risks. Some people who cut themselves have problems with drug or alcohol abuse.
Some people who cut have had a traumatic experience, such as living through abuse, violence, or a disaster. Self-injury may feel like a way of “waking up” from a sense of numbness after a traumatic experience. Or it may be a way of reinflicting the pain they went through, expressing anger over it, or trying to get control of it.
What Can Happen to People Who Cut?
Although cutting may provide some temporary relief from a terrible feeling, even people who cut agree that it isn’t a good way to get that relief. For one thing, the relief doesn’t last. The troubles that triggered the cutting remain — they’re just masked over.
People don’t usually intend to hurt themselves permanently when they cut. And they don’t usually mean to keep cutting once they start. But both can happen. It’s possible to misjudge the depth of a cut, making it so deep that it requires stitches (or, in extreme cases, hospitalization). Cuts can become infected if a person uses nonsterile or dirty cutting instruments — razors, scissors, pins, or even the sharp edge of the tab on a can of soda.
Most people who cut aren’t attempting suicide. Cutting is usually a person’s attempt at feeling better, not ending it all. Although some people who cut do attempt suicide, it’s usually because of the emotional problems and pain that lie behind their desire to self-harm, not the cutting itself.
Cutting can be habit forming. It can become a compulsive behavior — meaning that the more a person does it, the more he or she feels the need to do it. The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief from bad feelings to the act of cutting, and it craves this relief the next time tension builds. When cutting becomes a compulsive behavior, it can seem impossible to stop. So cutting can seem almost like an addiction, where the urge to cut can seem too hard to resist. A behavior that starts as an attempt to feel more in control can end up controlling you
How Does Cutting Start?
Cutting often begins on an impulse. It’s not something the person thinks about ahead of time. Shauna says, “It starts when something’s really upsetting and you don’t know how to talk about it or what to do. But you can’t get your mind off feeling upset, and your body has this knot of emotional pain. Before you know it, you’re cutting yourself. And then somehow, you’re in another place. Then, the next time you feel awful about something, you try it again — and slowly it becomes a habit.”
Natalie, a high-school junior who started cutting in middle school, explains that it was a way to distract herself from feelings of rejection and helplessness she felt she couldn’t bear. “I never looked at it as anything that bad at first — just my way of getting my mind off something I felt really awful about. I guess part of me must have known it was a bad thing to do, though, because I always hid it. Once a friend asked me if I was cutting myself and I even lied and said ‘no.’ I was embarrassed.”
Sometimes self-injury affects a person’s body image. Jen says, “I actually liked how the cuts looked. I felt kind of bad when they started to heal — and so I would ‘freshen them up’ by cutting again. Now I can see how crazy that sounds, but at the time, it seemed perfectly reasonable to me. I was all about those cuts — like they were something about me that only I knew. They were like my own way of controlling things. I don’t cut myself anymore, but now I have to deal with the scars.”
You can’t force someone who self-injures to stop. It doesn’t help to get mad at a friend who cuts, reject that person, lecture her, or beg him to stop. Instead, let your friend know that you care, that he or she deserves to be healthy and happy, and that no one needs to bear their troubles alone.
Pressured to Cut?
Girls and guys who self-injure are often dealing with some heavy troubles. Many work hard to overcome difficult problems. So they find it hard to believe that some kids cut just because they think it’s a way to seem tough and rebellious.
Tia tried cutting because a couple of the girls at her school were doing it. “It seemed like if I didn’t do it, they would think I was afraid or something. So I did it once. But then I thought about how lame it was to do something like that to myself for no good reason. Next time they asked I just said, ‘no, thanks — it’s not for me.’ ”
If you have a friend who suggests you try cutting, say what you think. Why get pulled into something you know isn’t good for you? There are plenty of other ways to express who you are.
Lindsay had been cutting herself for 3 years because of abuse she suffered as a child. She’s 16 now and hasn’t cut herself in more than a year. “I feel proud of that,” Lindsay says. “So when I hear girls talk about it like it’s the thing to do, it really gets to me.”
Getting Help
There are better ways to deal with troubles than cutting — healthier, long-lasting ways that don’t leave a person with emotional and physical scars. The first step is to get help with the troubles that led to the cutting in the first place. Here are some ideas for doing that:
- Tell someone. People who have stopped cutting often say the first step is the hardest — admitting to or talking about cutting. But they also say that after they open up about it, they often feel a great sense of relief. Choose someone you trust to talk to at first (a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, doctor, or nurse). If it’s too difficult to bring up the topic in person, write a note.
- Identify the trouble that’s triggering the cutting. Cutting is a way of reacting to emotional tension or pain. Try to figure out what feelings or situations are causing you to cut. Is it anger? Pressure to be perfect? Relationship trouble? A painful loss or trauma? Mean criticism or mistreatment? Identify the trouble you’re having, then tell someone about it. Many people have trouble figuring this part out on their own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful.
- Ask for help. Tell someone that you want help dealing with your troubles and the cutting. If the person you ask doesn’t help you get the assistance you need, ask someone else. Sometimes adults try to downplay the problems teens have or think they’re just a phase. If you get the feeling this is happening to you, find another adult (such as a school counselor or nurse) who can make your case for you.
- Work on it. Most people with deep emotional pain or distress need to work with a counselor or mental health professional to sort through strong feelings, heal past hurts, and to learn better ways to cope with life’s stresses. One way to find a therapist or counselor is to ask at your doctor’s office, at school, or at a mental health clinic in your community.
Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn’t mean that a person is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life’s other problems in a healthy way
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com