Car Seat Safety Tip

By Michael K. Davis, MD
July 23, 2009

This 2004 photograph shows an infant who has been properly positioned, and buckled into a rear-facing car seat. For example, notice the harnesses are snug; the plastic harness clip is positioned at armpit level in order to hold the shoulder straps in place; the straps are lying flat; the baby is dressed in clothes that allow the strap to go between the legs; and the child is not slouching down, or to the side.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that all infants should ride rear-facing until they have reached at least 1 year of age, and weigh at least 20 pounds. Never place rear-facing seats in the front seat of a vehicle that has an airbag. The different types of acceptable rear-facing seats include infant-only, and convertible seats. Convertible seats are bigger than infant-only seats, and can be used as forward-facing seats for cases involving larger children. The AAP advises that choosing seats with additional harness slots will allow you to accommodate how you secure your child as he/she grows within the limits of the same seat, thereby, allowing it to be used longer.

CDC/ American Academy of Pediatrics.  Annemarie Poyo. 2004. Used with permission.

Source: Dr. Tummy

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

What is the Real Truth about ADHD

By Michael K. Davis, MD
July 16, 2009

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common medical complaints of childhood.  Nearly 10% of school-aged children are affected.  The main symptoms of ADHD are inattention, distractability, inability to focus on school work or chores, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.  All children normally have one or more of these features at some time in thier lives, however, children with ADHD may have more difficulty performing daily tasks than other children.  As many as half of these children will have symptoms of ADHD into adulthood.  The cause of ADHD is unknown.  Treatment may involve behavior therapy and/or medicines.

 

What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common childhood disorder that causes a combination of inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.  While these symptoms may be part of normal childhood development, children with ADHD develop difficulty completing normal daily tasks due to the disorder.  ADHD affects children in multiple settings.  Poor school performance, inability to perform chores at home and risk-taking behavior while riding a bicycle may be present.

 
What causes ADHD?

The cause of ADHD is unknown.  There seems to be an imbalance of chemicals in the brain which may include: dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin.  It is unknown if the problem relates to the over or underproduction of these chemicals or perhaps to an abnormal response to these chemicals.  Subtle differences in brain anatomy have been detected in children with ADHD, however the significance of this is unknown.

 

What are the symptoms of ADHD?

• Inattention
• Impulsivity
• Hyperactivity
• Distractability
• Inability to focus on school work or chores
• Risk-taking behavior on bicycle, skateboards, rollerblades, etc.
• Distraction while performing work
• Losing, misplacing or forgetting objects
• Disorganization
• Daydreaming
• Poor school performance
• Risk-taking behavior such as riding a bicycle over a ledge or into the street
• Yelling out answers to questions too quickly
• Accidently injuring other children
• Impatience, especially when waiting in line
• Excessive movement, talking or fidgeting
• Inability to sit still
• Difficulty playing quietly
• Poor behavior

There is no medical test for ADHD.  The story provided by the family, school or caregiver is usually enough to make the diagnosis.  Surveys and questionnaires are often helpful.  ADHD must meet the following criteria:

• Must be present in more than one setting (for example – at school, home      and church)
• Must be present for 6 months or more
• Must occur before 7 years of age
• Must be excessive compared to normal childhood behavior
• Must affect school, home or social activity
• Other disorders must be excluded by your doctor

 
How is ADHD treated?

Behavior therapy and educational interventions may be helpful.  Some examples include, frequent progress reports from school, sitting close to the teacher, removing distractions, private tutoring, etc.

Stimulant medications may be used in children 3 years of age and older.  They are in a class of amphetamine-like drugs that stimulate nerve activity in the brain.  While providing “stimulation” to a hyperactive child may seem to be counter-productive, these medicines help children focus.  This effect is somewhat like an adult drinking a cup of coffee (for the caffeine) to “wake up” or “concentrate” better.  Some examples of stimulants are:

• Adderall ®
• Concerta ®
• Focalin ®
• Metadate ®
• Ritalin ®
• Vyvanse ™

Non-stimulant medications aim to have similar effects to the stimulant medications without the same side effects.  Strattera® works on the neurotransmitter norepinephrine (stimulant medicines primarily work on dopamine).  Many children respond well to Strattera® however more is known about the benefits of stimulant medications for ADHD.

 
What are the most common side effects of stimulant ADHD medications?

• Poor appetite and weight gain
• Sleep problems
• Restlessness or irritability
• Headache
• Abdominal pain, diarrhea

 
Does ADHD go away?

ADHD symptoms continue into aduthood for more than half of children with ADHD.  Hyperactivity becomes less apparent as a child enters the teenage years and adulthood.

Source: Dr. Tummy

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? Is there a question that you would like to ask Dr. Tummy? dan@youngchronicle.com

During Tough Times How Much To Tell Kids

By Katia Hetter
July 17, 2009

When a parent gets laid off or finances get so tight that summer camp is out, how do we  handle that change in lifestyle with our kids? Whether you’ve lost a job or are heading back to work to help pay a higher mortgage, stressed out parents are struggling to explain the changes to their children.

Take a page from Stacey Spitz’s playbook. Be positive, innovative and truthful — to a point. The Livingston, N.J. mom lost her job in real estate human resources in March. Spitz, a divorced mother of two, pooled her unemployment, alimony, child support and savings to stave off worry while she looks for full-time work.

She told her children, ages 8 and 10, that their frequent trips to the local ice cream parlor and clothing stores would be less frequent. But she replaced those events with  home-based movie nights and clothing swaps so her kids could still have “new” clothes.
 

“I’m a big believer in positive energy and putting it out there, even at the worst times,” she said. “If my kids saw me freaking out, they might be more concerned. But I know I’m going to be OK.”
Focus on quality time. Although kids often say they “need” the latest video game or name-brand jeans, what they really need is to feel secure and loved. Watch a favorite TV show together or take an after-dinner bike ride. Invite their friends over for a pizza-making party. Even talking while folding laundry,  together can be quality time.

 “There should be lots of hugs and ‘I love you’s,’ ” says Julie Potischman, a Roseland, N.J. psychotherapist.
Reassure your children. If you need to cut back on spending but your job and home seem secure, explain that buying store brands instead of brand names allows the family to spend more on other things. If you have to replace vacations with “staycations,”  pack them with free local events so the children see that everyone can still have fun.If your children ask questions about your job search, answer them — briefly.

They need to know that you’re working to get back on track but they don’t need to know everything. “My kids want to know what I’m doing during the day, and I explain about networking and job websites and not burning bridges,” Spitz says. If you’re in danger of losing your job or your home, you can’t necessarily promise your children that everything will stay the same. But you can promise them that you will always take care of them. Postpone any serious adult conversation until the little ones are asleep.
Stay cool. Even babies and toddlers pick up on stress so keep a positive attitude. Brooklyn mom Susan Menk lost her job as creative director at an architecture and interior design firm in January. She and her husband had to postpone pre-school and cut most of the babysitter’s hours. Buying a home is on hold.

But she hides her stress from her son and focuses on art projects and taking him to sing-a-longs and other free events. “He likes that I’m here, and I’m enjoying getting to know him more and bonding with him, ” she says.
 

It’s OK to say no. Whether you need to cut back now or not, it’s a good time to teach your children that they can’t have every toy they want, says Potischman, who is already talking to her children, ages 2 and 4, about limits and saving.
Show them how to save their allowance and gift money for things they want. Maybe your children will catch the entrepreneurial bug, as Spitz’s 8-year-old daughter and a friend did on a recent hot spring day. They ran a lemonade stand and each made $10 after expenses.
Make compromises.  Local community centers and the YMCA often offer affordable day camp options. If the travel costs aren’t too expensive, Grandma and Grandpa or another relative might take the kids for a “summer camp” week. Or organize a homemade summer camp with other parents.

Each parent can coordinate a day of affordable entertainment at the local community pool or other fun spot. (Look at our Mid-Winter Break  story for ideas) Your group might even consider hiring responsible teenagers or college students in your area to help lead your  camp.

 If mom needs a paycheck. If you have to return to work, make it sound like an opportunity. Remind them that “Mommy is a very talented [fill in the blank] who is excited about helping other people,” Potischman says. Even if the work doesn’t excite you, teach them to respect work that allows you to support your family. Spend quality time with your children so they can adjust to you working outside the home.
 

Reach out for help. Like Spitz, you can organize clothing swaps in your neighborhood and lean on your mother and friends for support. Participate in neighborhood softball games, bring-your-own-dogs grilling parties and babysitting exchanges. And if you need work, don’t be shy. Spread the word among your family, friends, religious leaders, neighbors and social networking websites. And reach out to other adults for support, too.

“Parents need to work together at facing their fears and insecurities as adults without projecting them onto their children,” says Potischman.
 

When your children are adults, they might remember the summer their parents cut back on expenses, but if you do it right, they’ll recall how you managed the crisis by having inexpensive fun while making them feel loved and secure. And when the next financial downturn occurs, they’ll be able to teach their children the same lessons.

Editor’s Note: Julie Potischman is a licensed psychotherapist at Roseland Psychotherapy Associates in Roseland, N.J. She’s also the resident psychotherapist at http://www.myworkbutterfly.com, a website designed to help moms who want or need to return to the work force.

Brooklyn-based journalist Katia Hetter helps teens tell their stories at Youth Communication http://www.youthcomm.org

 She has also written for The New York Times, Entertainment Weekly, Babycenter.com, Newsday and U.S. News & World Report.

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
 

Source: Rachael Ray

When Kids Spend, and Want More

By MVParents
July 11, 2009

“Never spend your money before you have earned it.”
–Thomas Jefferson, former U.S. President

“Could I get five bucks?” “A twenty?” “I need money for this.” “I need money for that.” As a parent, you hear these pleas from your children. Some ask for money more often than others, but all kids ask. How can you help your kids live within their means? How do you help your kids avoid overspending? How can you teach your kids not to pester you for money so often? Consider these ideas.

 

Tips for . . . all parents

Spending is the number one money-related topic among parents and kids, according to Search Institute research for a major corporate bank. Both parents and kids struggle with spending, overspending, and the desire to get more money. It’s a common tension in almost every household.

Be intentional and consistent about money. For example, start a weekly allowance that provides the same amount of money each time. Be clear about what you will and will not pay for-otherwise kids will think they can ask you to pay for everything.

Encourage family members to slow down their spending. For example, if your son gets a gift card or earns cash, try to get him to hold on to it for a while. Help him develop ways to save and to be more intentional about what he spends his money on.

Talk about money with your kids. Which spending, saving, and giving strategies help you manage money well? Where have you made mistakes? Each year, Capital One, a Fortune 500 financial services provider, publishes a study on back-to-school shopping and how parents and kids deal with money. Every year, the company finds that families need to talk more about money, not less.

Model savvy spending habits. When you get upset, go for a walk instead of going shopping. Don’t spend more than you earn.

Teach your child how to keep track of money coming in and going out. For young children, this can be concrete: If you can see your money, you have some. If you can’t see money, you’re out. Have teenagers keep track of their money through a savings account, a checking account, or by creating a budget ledger that shows how (and when) money comes in-and goes out.

Encourage family members to give money to a worthy cause, such as a food bank or a charitable organization they support. Talk about the value of spending money to help others.
Create money boxes for your young child. Make three boxes: one for spending, one for saving, and one for giving. Each week, give your child her allowance in coins that slip easily into each box. For example, if you give your child a dollar, have her put one dime in the savings box, one dime in the giving box, and eight dimes in the spending box. This gives young children concrete experience in dealing with percentages.

Help preschoolers learn how to recognize different coins. Pennies are easy: they’re a different color. Show them how a nickel has a smooth edge. Talk about how the big coin (the quarter) is worth the most-but expect kids to take a while to remember nickels and dimes, because it can seem illogical that a dime is smaller than a nickel, even though it’s worth more.

Teach young children that once money is spent, it’s gone. 

Parents with children ages 6 to 9

Talk about advertising and how it influences us to spend money. Some parents teach kids to turn off TV commercials (or put them on mute).

If you haven’t started giving your child an allowance, this is a good time to start. It’s better for kids to get used to receiving money on a regular basis so that they can practice getting, saving, giving, and spending money.

Help your child learn how to save. If your child wants something expensive, show her how she needs to save a certain amount of money each week. Don’t get her in the habit of buying something and then paying you back. Teach your child to save, wait, and then spend when she has enough money.

                          

Parents with children ages 10 to 15

At this age, kids often start wanting more and bigger things. If they want to earn money, create jobs for them to do around the house, or connect them with a neighbor, grandparent, or other adult who may have small jobs, such as mowing the lawn, washing windows, babysitting, or weeding a garden.

Introduce teenagers to adults who have solid financial skills. Ask the adults for tips they’ve learned for managing their money well-and some of the traps to avoid.

If you would like your young teenager practice to practice using a debit card, you can get your child a Visa Buxx debit card, starting at age 13. Both you and your teen can monitor how your teen uses the card, and you can always put a “stop” on it if your teen misuses it.

Encourage kids to save money by placing some of their funds in a safe place, such as a savings account, a piggy bank, or a wallet that is meant only for savings.

To encourage kids to develop more school spirit, offer to pay for school activities, school T-shirts, school dances, and other school-sponsored events. If you expect your kids to pay for these items, they’re more likely to choose other things to spend their money on, such as on food and entertainment.

When kids spend too much money on frivolous things, ask questions such as: “Instead of spending all your money on junk food, is there a way to cut back and take a snack with you from home?” Or, “Instead of buying all those iTunes songs, does the library have any of the music on CD?”

Parents with children ages 16 to 18

If you expect your teenager to pay for part or all of her further education after high school graduation, be clear about that and look together for ways she can earn that money. Don’t wait until the summer after graduation to overwhelm her with unrealistic financial expectations.

If your teenager has a part-time job, encourage him to spend only a portion of his earnings. Find ways to help your teenager save and give money to worthy charities.

As teens get older, gradually introduce other money skills, such as having a checking account, a credit card, buying stock, or starting an IRA. For more ideas, visit MoneyInstructor.com

Learn to let go. Older teenagers need to manage their own money. You can still make observations and suggestions (and it’s helpful to keep doing so), but it’s also essential to let teenagers make their own money decisions.
 
Source: MVParents

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Baby Teeth and Permanent Teeth

By Michael K. Davis, MD
July 10, 2009

So when will your baby get some teeth?  The eruption of teeth occur at different ages for different children.  Some newborns are born with one or more teeth, however these “neonatal teeth” typically fall out in a few days.  Your doctor may wish to remove the neonatal teeth so they don’t fall out and enter your child’s airway.  “Baby teeth” (called the primary dentition) begin to erupt at about 6 months of age.  The bottom front teeth (central incisors of the mandible) are typically the first to erupt.  The front four upper teeth are typically the next to erupt (central and lateral incisors of the maxilla). 

The mandible is the chin bone and the maxilla is the skull bone that holds the upper teeth.  The rest of your child’s teeth will erupt over the next two years.  The first permanent teeth (the molars closest to the front) begin to erupt at about 6 years of age.  Your child will have both permanent and baby teeth at the same time.  Your child will start to lose baby teeth at about 6 or 7 years of age.  The first teeth to fall out are the incisors (typically a bottom tooth is the first to go!).  Your child will likely have all the permanent teeth (and no baby teeth!) except for the wisdom teeth by about 12 years of age. 

 

 

 Source: Dr. Tummy

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Something to Think About on this 4th of July

By Glenn Beck
July 4, 2009

 

Hello America,

Here it is, another Fourth of July. Traditionally, this is a day to gather with friends, maybe fire up the barbeque and play with kids until the sun sets and the fireworks start. But in thinking back on the meaning behind this day, we must never forget that our nation was baptized in the blaze of a very different kind of “fireworks.” Yes, this is a day of rest and relaxation, as well it should be, but this year…I’d like to ask you a favor. At some point during the day, I hope you’ll take time to think and reflect on what it is we’re truly celebrating on the 4^th of July — our Independence Day. Of course the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4^th, 1776 but it’s so much more than that. On this day, 233 short years ago, a small group of men dedicated themselves to a higher purpose, an ideal they believed in so greatly, they signed their name to its expression and in doing so put their very lives at risk.

Never has a simple act of signing one’s name carried such weight, such a profound commitment. By signing the Declaration of Independence, 56 men stood in direct defiance of the British government. They became marked men, and willingly so. As I was doing some research on the significance of July 4^th, I came across some interesting facts about these men. Today as we all enjoy the freedom our forefathers guaranteed us; join me in honoring the extraordinary sacrifice of 56 extraordinary Americans.

Of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence:

Five were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes burned to the ground. Two lost sons serving in the Revolutionary Army, and two more had sons captured. Nine fought and died in the Revolutionary War.

If you ever feel like your lone voice can never be heard, that the political system isn’t set up for “regular” Americans to change the course of history, remember: The signers were flesh and blood, mortal men with a divinely-inspired aim.
 
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists, eleven were merchants, and nine were farmers and large plantation owners. They were well educated, smart enough to know that by signing the Declaration of Independence, they were signing their own death warrants. They did it anyway, and God bless them for it.
 
As we enjoy our liberty on this 4^th of July, or any day of any month, we must never take that liberty for granted. Too many have given too much. In the words, of the Signers themselves. For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence. We mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.”
 
Their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor — I think that’s a price paid worth a few minutes of reflection, don’t you? But let’s not be solemn in that reflection. I say rejoice and share this information with your friends and family, especially your kids. The Signers asked for nothing in return for their pledge, but I say that we show our thanks with a pledge of our own:  To remember, to be grateful, and to carry on in their spirit. America is the greatest country this world has ever and will ever know, and it will stay that way so long as “we the people” remember that just like in 1776.
 
It’s US that surround them, and we’ll never back down.
 
Happy Independence Day, and God bless America.

Source: Glenn Beck

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@goldcoastchronicle.com

When Discipline for Your Child

Michael K. Davis, MD
July 3, 2009

Frustrated parents may ask pediatricians for guidance regarding effective means of discipline.  Pediatricians are often uncomfortable addressing this complex issue due to several reasons but perhaps the main reason is a lack of time to adequately assess the issue.

The term “discipline” comes from the Latin word “disciplinare,” meaning “to teach.”  However, the term is most often associated with the concept of punishment.  A good discipline strategy involves behavior modeling, attitudes, rewards and punishments.

Why do children misbehave?

Perhaps the main reason is a lack of adequate discipline.  Kids who are tired, bored or hungry are more likely to misbehave.  Kids also misbehave to gain the parents attention, and even if the parent scolds the child, an attention-deprived child may find this parent interaction worth the punishment.  Temperment plays a role in all child behavior.  A small proportion of children may have a behavior disorder such as ADHD.  Ask your doctor about this.

Discipline strategies should be based on the child’s age.  Detailed explanations may help older children understand their punishment but are useless if the child doesn’t have the capacity to understand the explanation.  Try explaining to a 3 year old why they can’t have a cookie for breakfast!  Children less than 18 months of age are typically unable to understand any type of punishment and an overwhelming desire to explore their environment makes punishment ineffective.  Two-parent families should formulate a united front.  Opposing discipline strategies between parents only offers a child a means to exploit the differences.  “Dad can I have a cookie?”  “No.”  “Mom, can I have a cookie?”  Sound familiar?

Discipline should be clear, concise and immediate so a child learns to appreciate the cause and effect relationship.  Punishment should be a logical consequence. For example, if a child does not eat dinner, then he doesn’t get dessert.

Positive reinforcement – Perhaps even more important than punishment, is for parents to recognize and reward good behavior.  If a child cleans her room, then she gets to spend more time with Mom or Dad.  Unfortunately it is the poorly-behaved child that often gets the most attention.  A simple “Good job, son!” or “What an awesome job cleaning your room!”  is golden to a young child.  Some parents have had success using a chart on the refrigerator in which the child is awarded gold stars for good behavior.  A certain number of stars awarded for good behavior is rewarded.

Punishment is a necessary part of discipline but it must be used together with positive reinforcement.  Time-outs are a popular strategy that can be very effective when used appropriately.  Send the child to the corner of the room or next to a tree for 1 minute for every year of age.  So, a four-year-old gets a 4 minute time out.  The time-out spot should be safe, but boring.  No interaction is allowed during a child’s time-out.  Once time out is over, “time-in” should involve positive interaction between parent and child.  Time-outs are not super effective short term, but can be very effective over time when used correctly.  Time outs probably work best for kids between 18 months and 6 years of age.

Verbal scolding should only be used sparingly.  If used too much, it can cause unnecessary anxiety or excitement in the child.  A parent should model good behavior and a tirade of insults will only be copied by the child at a later time.

According to one survey of the National Family Violence Survey more than 90% of families use some form of spanking to modify child behavior.  Attention-getting, open-handed, non-injury-causing pops on the buttocks, hand or leg are generally not considered abuse in the United States.  However, while the immediate shock value may change a child’s behavior, spanking is not the most effective means of discipline.  No child should ever be struck with an object, hit hard enough to leave a mark, or shaken.

It is important to understand the developmental milestones of children when deciding when and how to apply discipline.  A child less than 2 years old should not be punished for potty-training accidents because they may not have the physical ability to control bladder and bowel function.

Source: Banks JB.  Childhood discipline: challenges for clinicians and parents. Am Fam Physician. 2002 Oct 15;66(8):1447-52.

Dr. Tummy

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Children to Help Around House

By MVParents
June 30, 2009

Vacuums don’t clean houses. People clean houses.
–Lew Schneider, American writer

If you wish your child helped out more at home, you’re not alone. According to research from Arizona State University, the four most common tensions about household chores include parents wishing kids would:

(1) clean their rooms,

(2) pick up their dirty clothes,

(3) put their dirty dishes in the sink, and

(4) hang up wet towels. The same research study also found that kids between the ages of 6 and 18 do about 12 percent of household chores-leaving 88 percent to the parents. How can you get everyone to help with household chores? Consider these ideas.

Tips for All Parents

• Create a chore list: list all the chores that need to be done and when, and then divide family chores up between family members. Or create a job jar: list chores one by one on slips of paper, fold them, and put them in a jar. Then have family members choose a piece of paper and get to work.
• Set aside a time when everyone does chores together, such as a Saturday morning or a part of a Saturday afternoon. Explain that everyone will do chores at the same time and no one can do anything else until all the chores are completed. Encourage family members to help each other out to get chores finished sooner.
• Be patient. Very few people enjoy doing chores, so expect kids to take short cuts and not always complete a chore to your liking. Continue having high expectation but don’t expect kids to start out with enthusiasm or great mastery.
• Talk about why doing household chores is important. Chores keep your home clean and enjoyable. They teach responsibility and help you make decisions. You can take pride in doing a job well, and everyone in a family is happier when everyone does his or her share.

Parents with children ages birth to 5

• Find chores that are age appropriate for your kids. For example, get a big feather duster and let your child dust. Or let your child set the table by placing the silverware next to place settings. For more ideas, view short video in our video section.
• Encourage kids to pick up after themselves. Use a toy bucket and make time every day for you and your child to pick up the toys and place them in the bucket.
• Stick with kids during chore times. They often get distracted by other things and need reminding to stay on task. They’re also more likely to finish their tasks if you work side by side with them.

Parents with Children ages 6 to 9

• Place your child in charge of the chores during chore time. If you have a job jar, let your child choose one slip of paper to give to each family member. Then ask your child what advice he or she has before everyone starts.
• Make chore time fun by playing music. You can also learn and sing the song “Whistle While You Work,” from the movie Snow White.
• Figure out ways that kids can help out with parts of chores. For example, show kids where each family member’s sock drawer is. Then when the laundry is folded, have your kids put each family member’s socks away.

Parents with children ages 10 to 15

• Teach your child more complex household chores as they grow. For example, 10- and 11-year-olds can learn how to strip the bed and put the sheets and pillowcases into the chute or laundry hamper. Teach 13- to 15-year olds how to do laundry.
• If you have a yard, teach kids how to help with outside chores, such as raking leaves, pulling weeds, shoveling snow, and mowing the lawn. Kids are more likely to stick with chores if family members are out doing them together.
• Talk about how household chores and homework are important responsibilities. Even if you don’t enjoy doing them, it’s often helpful to do these tasks first and then have fun later. Or if there are too many chores (or too much homework), do some for 30 minutes, take a break for 30 minutes, and then come back and do some more.

Parents with children ages 16 to 18

• If it seems to you that your older teenager does fewer chores at this age then at a younger age, you are not alone. According to Arizona State University research, the amount of household chores done by this age group declines sharply due to more challenging schoolwork, more complex schedules, part-time jobs, and other demanding activities. Some parents allow older teenager to do fewer household chores as long as they keep their grades up and are involved in other activities. Other parents believe that older teenagers still need to participate in a few household chores. For more insights from the research study, read The Chore of Chores.
• If your teenager gets into a money jam (such as dropping his iPod into the toilet and completely ruining it) and you don’t want your teenager to get a job, consider creating household chores for your teenager to do for money. Instead of choosing everyday chores (such as washing dishes or picking up the house), figure out special projects, such as cleaning out a closet and donating things you don’t use to Goodwill, helping to erect a trellis, or digging up a new flower bed outside.
• Older teenagers usually can’t wait to be an adult. Make it clear that responsibilities go hand in hand with the freedoms of adulthood. For example, maybe you require your 18 year old to do his or her wash each week. Or maybe you insist that your 18 year old has to cook for the family once a week. Be creative, but be consistent.

© 2009. All Rights Reserved, Search Institute. Legal.

Source: MVParents

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Teach Kids Good Money Choices

By MVParents/PIO
June 27, 2009

In order to survive-and thrive-in our American culture, we need money. We need money to pay for the necessities of life. We need money to save so we can plan our futures. We need money to give so we can help make our world a better place.

Yet, how do we teach our children and teenagers how to earn well, save well, give well, and spend well when we’re bombarded with conflicting messages of how to use our money well as adults? Fortunately, we can help our kids make good money choices by teaching them key financial skills, talking about the values that guide our money decisions, and giving them opportunities that not only help them manage money well now-but also in the future.

Focusing on kids’ financial literacy is important for people from all income levels. It’s not about how much money you have (or don’t have), it’s about teaching kids the skills to manage money well so that they thrive. The National Endowment for Financial Education says that as little as 10 hours of personal financial education affects young people’s spending and savings habits in a positive way. With only 7 percent of parents from the same study saying their kids understand financial matters well, it’s time for all kids to learn the skills they need to make lifelong, positive money choices.

 

Facts from Search Institute

While 46 percent of adults say it’s important for adults to give financial guidance to children and teenagers, only 35 percent of adults actually do so.
Young people are more likely to save money when they have more Developmental Assets. While only 27 percent of young people with 10 assets or fewer save money, 70 percent of young people with 31 or more assets save money.

Young people are less likely to gamble when they have more Developmental Assets. While 30 percent of young people with 10 assets or fewer gamble, only 4 percent of young people with 31 or more assets gamble.

The Asset Advantage

Many of the Developmental Assets are core skills and values that are foundational to making smart money choices. These Developmental Assets include positive family communication, service to others, adult role models, planning and decision making, responsibility, honesty, restraint, family boundaries, positive peer influence, personal power, and positive view of the future. Having more Developmental Assets contributes to making smarter money decisions and avoiding high-risk money behaviors, such as gambling.

Ideas You Can Use Every Day

Talking about Money

Kids often complain that they never have any money. Help them see where their money comes from by asking how often they receive money from these sources: allowances, gifts (birthdays, holidays), extra jobs around the house, part-time jobs, things they make and sell to friends, or running a small business (such as repairing bikes or mowing lawns).

Talk about how your values affect your money choices. For example, how does your caring for others impact how you save, spend, and give money away? Why do you sometimes wait to make certain purchases? What does it mean to you to be responsible with your money?

 Every parent needs to (and should!) say no to some requests for money and purchases. When you do say no, focus on values and responsible decision making. Instead of saying, we don’t have money for that, say, “We use our money in other ways” or “This isn’t in our budget” or “We need to save money for a while to buy this.”

When you’re struggling financially, be honest with your kids about your situation. You don’t need to worry them with all the details, but it is helpful for them to learn that money isn’t magical. It doesn’t appear when you want it to. Invite them to be creative and join you in making decisions that are within your means.

 

Learning More about Money Management

Financial management can be overwhelming. There are so many aspects to it, and it’s easy to feel inept about money matters. Focus on what you know and build on that. Research money advice via the Internet or a good book at the library, such as Raising Money-Smart Kids. by Janet Bodnar.

Periodically read about money news in the newspaper, a newsmagazine, or the Internet. Today, a lot of news stories about the economy are making headlines. What can you learn from these stories? What issues do these stories raise to talk about with your kids?

Practicing Money Skills

When you give your child an allowance, have your child set aside a portion of the earnings for saving, for giving, and for spending. By doing this up front, you’re more likely to manage money beyond just spending it.

Although it’s helpful to teach kids that they cannot spend more than they have, it’s also helpful once in a while for your kids to borrow money from you and then pay it back on a regular basis. For example, if your child wants to buy a bicycle, a video game, or an mp3 player, have your child save up a certain amount for a down deposit and then figure out a payment plan (and stick to that plan every step of the way) until it is completely paid off.

Open up a savings account in your child’s name. Take your child to the bank at least three to four times a year to make deposits. Show how your child earns money by saving money.

Help your child discover a passion for a cause, such as saving the rainforest or helping endangered animals. Research good causes at Charity Navigtor.

Source: MVParents

Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

Telling Family About Adoption Plans

By Laura Broadwell
June 23, 2009

When a woman is expecting a baby, she’ll inevitably have to tell the world that she’s pregnant — sooner or later. But when a couple chooses to adopt, the decision of when — and how — to break the news is more complicated, given that adoption can be a long, drawn-out process filled with uncertainty, and a couple’s “due date” is not always set in stone. What’s more, many people seem to have an opinion or some preconceived notions about what it means to adopt, and are not afraid to voice those sentiments upon hearing a couple’s news. The following are a few strategies to keep in mind when telling the world about your pending adoption — and some reactions you might receive.

1. Decide whom you want to tell — and when. Once you’ve begun the adoption process, it can drag on for months or even years. Having the support of family, friends, and colleagues during this exciting and anxiety-provoking time can be a comfort. Some prospective parents choose to tell their closest friends and relatives about their decision early on. Others prefer to wait until the later stages of the process (for instance, once they’ve received their referral for a child or a birth mother’s due date is near), or until they’re more certain of the outcome. Of course, there are ultimately no right or wrong answers about whether or when to tell people. The choice is a personal one that will depend on your circumstances, the details of the adoption, and your relationships with those around you.

2. Get ready for questions. Once you do break the news, be prepared for an onslaught of questions. Since many people are still in the dark about the emotional and practical aspects of adoption, they may ask you things that seem impertinent or rude: “Don’t you want ‘your own’ child?” “How much are you paying for your baby?” “What if the birth mother changes her mind?” (Of course, you’ll also be grilled on “When is the baby coming?” “Have you chosen a name yet?” “Have you gotten the room ready?”)

Try not to take these questions personally. Most people are simply curious about the adoption process, and this can be a good opportunity to educate them. As with any family matter, though, don’t feel as if you have to answer questions that are too intrusive or personal, or that compromise the privacy of the birth mother or your adoptive child.

3. Be prepared to debunk myths. While some people may ask questions based on their lack of knowledge about adoption, others may think they have all the answers because of something they’ve read, seen on TV, or heard from a friend. For instance, a relative or coworker may say, “I’ve heard that all Russian (Chinese, Guatemalan, etc.) orphanages are terrible and that all the babies there are sick or developmentally delayed,” or “You’re such a saint to adopt a foster child. I’ve read that all foster kids have major problems.” Again, this is a good opportunity to set the record straight about certain issues of adoption, and to draw the line when you feel a question or comment is too nosy, rude, or personal.

4. Give adoptive grandparents a chance to vent — and to comprehend. Even the most eager grandparents-to-be may need time to get used to the idea of having a grandchild who doesn’t look like them or who, in some cases, is of a different race. They may need to grieve that the family’s bloodline is not being continued, or they may worry that an adoption might fail or turn out badly. Grandparents and family members, like anyone else, may also need to confront their own lack of knowledge and prejudices about adoption, and it will be up to you to help them.

To start, you could invite your parents and other close relatives to join you at a meeting of an adoptive parents’ group, give them a subscription to an adoption newsletter or magazine, recommend a few books on the subject, or have them speak with other adoptive grandparents by phone. Chances are, your parents and relatives will want to fully embrace your decision — and your child. But they may need some time and information before they can fully do so.

Editor’s Note: The Adoption Resource Book by Lois Gilman, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Adoption by Chris Adamec; olderchildadoption.com

We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com

All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.

Source: Parents

« Previous Page — Next Page »