Help! How do I Find a Girlfriend?
by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
Dec. 31, 2009
(Q) Can you teach me how to find a girlfriend when I grow up? I don’t want to be lonely!
(A) Sometimes it seems like everywhere you look, you see couples. You might see them walking hand-in-hand down your street or even kissing in movies or on TV shows.
It’s common to wonder how you will get your very own girlfriend (or boyfriend) when you are older. How will someone decide that you are a very special person worth spending more time with?
The good news is that it usually happens pretty naturally. As you grow up, girls and boys get more and more interested in one another.
In the teen years, many kids want to experience what it’s like to go on dates and be part of a couple. So someday you might meet someone in school or at a party and develop an interest in her.
Maybe the two of you will talk or exchange phone numbers — or even discover that you both like the exact same music groups.
Next comes the tricky part. When feelings are mutual — you both are interested in each other in the same way — things work can work out pretty well. But sometimes the person you like only likes you as a friend or already has a boyfriend. Sigh.
What can you do then? Keep hanging out with your friends and having a good time. Try not to be too focused on getting a girlfriend and you just might meet someone special when you least expect it!
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think. dan@youngchronicle.com
Kids Talk About Food Pyramid
By Mary L. Gavin, MD
Nov. 26, 2009
The votes are in — kids like the new food guide pyramid. But it wasn’t a landslide (which means one side won by a lot more than the other). About 500 kids participated in our survey and here’s what they said:
53% said they liked it
26% said they weren’t sure
21% said they did not like it
Except for still being a triangle, the new pyramid isn’t much like the old one. The old one was made of different-sized blocks that stood for the different food groups.
Grain foods (like breads and pasta) made the base and the tiny tip was made of fats and sweets. The new model has splashy, vertical stripes and a staircase running up one side to show the importance of exercise. One kid said it looked like “a pie graph — only triangular.”
Briana, 11, said she loves the new pyramid, especially the staircase. The new model is easier to understand. She thinks it’s trying to say: “Stay healthy and be on top of the world!”
More Color — Good or Bad?
Other kids said the new pyramid rocks because it’s more colorful. Five stripes stand for the five food groups. The sixth stripe stands for oils:
orange — grains
green — vegetables
red — fruits
blue — milk and dairy products
purple — meat, beans, fish, and nuts
yellow — oils
The colors weren’t an improvement for Abby, 12. She said the colors didn’t really match their groups.
“Purple for meat? Ewww!” she said.
But Jessica, 12, said the new pyramid’s colors were trying to send this message: “You have to eat all (the different food groups) to have a healthy body, just like how you need all the colors to make a ‘healthy’ rainbow.”
Other kids said the new pyramid is better because it’s more specific. For instance, the different widths of each color band give people an idea of how much they need.
And the bands get thinner at the top, to show that, in every food group, some foods are healthier than others.
Of course, you should eat more of the healthy ones. With grains, for instance, a slice of whole-wheat toast is more nutritious than a doughnut, so the wheat bread would be in the wide part and the doughnut in the narrow top.
Where Are the Pictures?
But the trouble for some kids was that there aren’t any pictures of foods on the new pyramid. It’s not clear that the color bands stand for food groups, or that the width of those bands means something, or that the narrowing of each band is there to make a point about the difference between whole-grain bread and sugary doughnuts.
That’s one reason Jordan, 12, preferred the old pyramid, which he called “more complete.”
“It actually shows the foods that are in each group, if you know what I mean,” he said.
Deja, 11, agreed, saying the old pyramid “is great for little kids who can’t read yet.”
Adam Asks About Sugar
Adam, 12, wishes the new pyramid was clearer about which group was which. He also wanted some more information about how much to eat.
“It does not tell me how much sugar,” Adam said.
Speaking of sugar, Adam is one smart cookie. The amount of sugar someone eats can make a big difference in his or her health. Though the new pyramid doesn’t give advice on sugar, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) does have something to say about it.
(The USDA is the group in charge of the pyramid and other nutrition stuff.)
About sugar, the USDA says that kids especially need to watch out for added sugars. Some foods, like fruit, contain natural sugars. But other foods, like candy, soda, and ice cream, usually contain a lot of added sugar.
These sugary foods often don’t have many nutrients — the vitamins and minerals your body needs to grow and keep working like it should. Sugar also contains a lot of calories, so eating too much can make someone overweight. It also can cause a lot of cavities — ouch!
As for how much sugar Adam can eat and still be healthy, that’s hard to say. We recommend that he follow the pyramid by eating a good mix of fruits, vegetables, protein foods, dairy foods, and grains.
Then, because he’s eating so much good stuff, foods with a lot of added sugars will just naturally be a small part of his diet.
Don’t Go It Alone
It’s good for kids to know about the food guide pyramid, but no one expects them to figure it out on their own. So don’t worry if you’re a little confused. Lots of grown-ups have trouble understanding nutrition. It’s a science after all!
If you have questions about your diet or wonder what’s healthy and what’s not, ask a parent. If your parent’s not sure, talk with your doctor, the school nurse, or your health teacher.
You also can turn to the new My Pyramid website. It’s full of information and tips about eating healthy.
And give yourself a little time to get adjusted to the new pyramid. Some kids didn’t have any specific criticisms of the new pyramid, they just seemed to be saying that they’d rather not see it change.
In all, 43% of kids said they liked the old pyramid better. Anytime something changes, you might feel a little uneasy.
Charbonet, 12, put it this way: “(The old pyramid) made things more clearer. Nothing is as good as the original.”
But Andrew, 12, welcomes the new pyramid, which, in his opinion, looks a lot better.
He said: “Change is good.”
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: we would like to know what you think. dan@youngchronicle.com
Mom When Can I Get A Cell Phone?
By Mary L. Gavin, MD
Oct. 24, 2009
The answer is when your parents think you need one, though many kids seem to be getting them around age 12 or 13. Some younger kids may have them because their parents see it as an issue of safety and convenience. For instance, a kid can call mom and dad when sports practice is over. And a cell phone can give kids almost instant access to their parents if something goes wrong or they need help. Likewise, it can give parents quick access to their kids so they can check on them and make sure they’re OK.
If you do get a cell phone, work out some rules with your parents, such as how many minutes you’re allowed to spend on the phone. Also hammer out some other details: When can you use your phone? When must the phone be turned off? And what will you do if someone calls you too often or leaves a mean message for you?
You’ll also want to make sure you take care of this new item in your life. Have a routine for keeping it charged and storing it in the same place so it doesn’t get lost. And whatever you do, don’t use it in the bathroom. We know someone who dropped her phone in the toilet!
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think. dan@youngchronicle.com
Kids Talk About: Halloween Candy
by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
October 18, 2009
Kids love Halloween, and why not? You get to dress up in a cool costume and go around the neighborhood filling your bag or plastic pumpkin with delicious candy. Then it’s time to head home with that heavy haul of chocolate and other sweet treats. But what happens next? Do you eat a lot that night? Or maybe your mom or dad says “Whoa!” and tells you to pick a certain number of pieces.
We asked about 1,200 boys and girls about their Halloween haul. Here’s what they said:
- Most kids said they get at least 50 pieces of candy, with over 44% saying they get more than 100 pieces.
- Only about 20% of kids said they eat all their Halloween candy.
- Whether they eat all or just some of their candy, it takes most kids a long time to do it. Nearly 60% said they need 2 weeks, 1 month, or more than a month. About 25% said they need only 1 day or less than 1 week. And the rest of the kids said they needed anywhere from 1 second (yeah, right) to a year!
But kids aren’t always in charge when it comes to how much candy they get to eat — half said their parents put limits on how much they can eat.
Limits
Kids who have limits were allowed to eat as little as one piece a week to as many as 10 or 20 a day, though not all at the same time. Sometimes the rules are complicated.
Juliet, 10, is allowed to eat one-eighth of her candy on Halloween night and then 12 pieces a day after that. “I would say that if I could choose, I would have one-sixth of my candy on Halloween night. Then, 20 pieces every day after that,” Juliet said.
The rules at Sophie’s house are relaxed on Halloween, but after that she’s not allowed to eat nearly as much as Juliet. “On Halloween, I can eat quite a bit, but not until I get home,” said Sophie, 11. “After that it’s usually one piece a day.”
Kris, 8, says she doesn’t have any limits on Halloween, but there’s a big catch. “That night we can eat whatever we want and then Mom throws it away,” Kris said.
Pete’s mom limits his Halloween candy by giving a lot of it back out to the trick-or-treaters that same night. “She leaves a small bowl for us to eat, which we do in 2 days,” said Pete, 10.
Allison, 12, has limits, too — seven pieces on Halloween and two per day after that. But she doesn’t keep all that candy for herself. “After Halloween, I separate what I want to keep (20–30 pieces) and donate the rest, in little baggies, to the homeless shelter or soup kitchen,” she said.
No Limits
Though most kids (60%) said parents should limit kids’ candy intake, plenty of kids (50%) said they did not have any limits. But more than 60% of kids said they voluntarily set their own limits. Why? To avoid getting fat, feeling sick, or getting cavities in their teeth.
Thalia, 12, said she wants to be a healthy kid, especially because she’s on a competitive swim team. “I’m kind of a ‘Don’t eat too much junk or you’ll get fat’ sort of person,” she said. “I don’t eat a lot of candy. I know what candy can do to your teeth and body, so I have limits on how much I should eat.”
Nathan, 13, said his parents think he’s old enough to decide for himself. “I am a teen and I know how much I want to eat,” he said.
Ally, 12, sets her own limits and then listens to her body when it comes to deciding how much candy to eat. “I say to myself, only a certain amount of pieces (for example, five) and then I have to stop. Or if I start getting full, I stop also,” she said.
Ooh, That Sick Feeling
If you’ve ever eaten too much Halloween candy, you probably remember the ooky feeling in your stomach. Of more than 1,200 kids who responded to our survey, more than half (625) said too much Halloween candy had made them sick or caused other problems.
Here’s what they remember:
“I felt sick all night,” said Zachary, 9.
“I got a huge headache when I was 7 years old after eating way too much candy and had to go to sleep early,” said Angelica, 11.
“My whole body felt really bad, I laid in bed until I felt better, and didn’t do that again,” said Aliyah, 10.
Shamyia, 10, said the top reason she puts limits on how much Halloween candy she eats is because she doesn’t want to get sick. When you hear what happened to her, you’ll understand why.
“When I had eaten extremely too much candy, I puked on my dad when I answered the door. Then the next 2 days, I had to stay home and miss a field trip to Six Flags!”
But maybe making a mistake like that can teach kids an important lesson — that it can be better to eat a little of your favorite foods, like candy, instead of enormous amounts.
Ellyn Satter, a dietitian who’s written a lot of books about kids and food, thinks kids need to figure out what their limits are — what it feels like to be full. When they do, they can adjust how much they eat so they don’t overdo it. She really practices what she preaches: Her 10-year-old son once ate six snow cones at a picnic! Do you think he ever did that again?
Which Way Is Right?
Maybe you’re wondering which way is the best way and if your parents are doing the right thing. Well, there’s no simple answer. Parents don’t have a secret rulebook that tells them what to do, so they usually just try to make the best decision they can.
Dr. Mary L. Gavin said parents need to make that decision based on what a kid is like. So if a kid is the type to be reasonable and stop eating candy before he or she gets sick, maybe the kid gets to decide how much to eat, said Gavin, a pediatrician and a medical editor at KidsHealth.org. But if the kid is the type to overdo it, maybe the parent needs to step in and set some limits.
Marion Nestle agreed. She’s a professor at New York University who has written books about food and nutrition. “At the very least, parents should have a good idea of what the kids have collected and how much candy they are eating on that one occasion,” she said.
Marilyn Tanner, a dietitian, thinks parents need to be role models. Role models about candy? Yep. Kids often follow in their parents’ footsteps, so if your mom or dad doesn’t pig out on Halloween, you’re more likely to set limits, too. Tanner knows about this kind of stuff because she teaches a class about healthy habits for kids and parents through St. Louis Children’s Hospital in Missouri.
“Leading by example is important!” said Tanner, also a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association.
Candy Alternatives
While some Halloween candy is fun, quite a few kids were interested in getting non-candy treats on Halloween night. About half of kids said they’d like to get pencils, stickers, and other small items.
“I think people should give out fun markers/crayons, stickers, pencils, and anything else they think kids will like,” said Hannah, 11. “They should do this because it prevents kids (somewhat) from becoming overweight and it lasts longer than candy.”
Latavia, 10, whose favorite candy is Laffy Taffy, suggested toothbrushes, floss, and mouthwash.
Teeth were also on Olga’s mind. She has braces and can’t eat sticky, hard, nutty, or gooey candy. If she has Skittles, she said she has to suck on them. Here’s how Olga answered our question about whether more people should give out stuff other than candy:
“YES!!!! YEEEESSSS!!! I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH I CAN ENFORCE THIS, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE that other stuff. I love people who appreciate that I have braces; :-). Whatever they give me, I’m thankful that it’s not candy.”
But the other half of the kids we surveyed said keep the candy coming on Halloween. Tani, 10, put it simply.
“Candy rocks!” she said.
Source: Kids Health
Mom I Got My Period
By Mary L. Gavin, MD
Sept. 27, 2009
It’s a funny moment when you get your first period. You can feel a bunch of different emotions. Some girls might be thrilled that the longed-for period has finally arrived. Others might be a little weirded out by the experience. And still other girls might take it completely in stride, deal with it, and go on like nothing happened. Whichever girl you are, it’s important to tell your mom. It’ll be easier to get the supplies you need. Just remember that she was once your age, getting her first period, so she knows this territory well.
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think. dan@youngchronicle.com
How can I talk to my mom about guy stuff?
By Mary L. Gavin, MD
Sept. 27, 2009
When you’re going through all the changes of puberty, you should have someone you can go to when you have a question or concern. That person could be your mom. (Moms know about guy stuff, too!) You could also turn to a male relative, like a grandfather, uncle, or older cousin. When you visit your doctor, you can ask him or her questions. They’re experts in how kids’ bodies grow and change.
One easy place to start is with a web site for kids (like this one!) or a good book about growing up. Your mom could help you find one or you could search the health section in your local library. Sometimes knowing a few facts can help you feel more comfortable when talking to your mom about growing up.
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think. dan@youngchronicle.com
Kids Talk: Why Do My Eyes Water?
by: Larissa Hirsch, MD
Sept. 19, 2009
You’re walking home from school on a windy November day when – whoosh! – a breezy blast smacks you in the face. As your teeth start to chatter and you pull your jacket closed, you notice your eyes are tearing up. Your eyes are tearing, but you’re not sad. What’s going on? Your eyes are “watering.”
Tell Me About Tears
When your eyes water, they’re making tears, just like when you cry. The tears from watering eyes help protect your eyes. How? By keeping them moist and washing out dust and other foreign stuff that gets in there. The tears from watering eyes might only fill your eyes or they might trickle down your face.
Whether you’re crying or your eyes are just tearing, the liquid in your eyes is created the same way. All tears come out of tear glands, or lacrimal (say: lah-krum-ul) glands, found way up under your upper eyelids. Tears wash down from the glands and over your eyes.
Some of the tears drain out of your eyes through tear ducts, or lacrimal ducts. These ducts are tiny tubes that run between your eyes and your nose. Each tear duct is like a tiny bathtub drain. When the tears fill up your eyes, they drain out through the tear ducts. You have two tear ducts – one near the inside corner of each eye. You can see these holes if you gently pull down your lower eyelid a bit.
If tears are flowing quickly, like when you’re crying pretty hard, the ducts can’t drain them all, so tears run down your face. And have you ever noticed that your nose sometimes runs when you cry? That’s because some of the tears making their exit through the ducts end up coming out of your nose.
Why Do Eyes Water?
Eyes water for lots of different reasons besides crying. Anything that irritates the eye can bring on tears because the eye will try to wash it out. So when something gets stuck in there – like dirt or an eyelash, here come the tears!
You can’t always see the stuff that gets in your eyes. Have you ever walked into a smoky room? If so, you may have noticed your eyes tearing up as protection against the smoke. Even though the particles that make up smoke are too small to see, they can still bug your eyes. Eyes might also water if you’re around an onion that’s being peeled or chopped. The fumes onions give off actually contain tiny chemicals that can get in your eyes and make them hurt.
Things that can dry out your eyes, like cold air or wind, will make eyes water, too. To protect the eyes from getting too dry, the tear glands crank out the tears. Imagine skiing down a hill with dry eyes as all that wind rushed at you. That would really hurt!
People’s eyes also tear when they have allergies, infections like a cold, or pinkeye, known as conjunctivitis (say: con-junk-tih-vi-tis). All of these irritations can inflame the eyes and make them water.
Tear Trouble
You might not think twice about your watering eyes, but some people do have trouble making tears because their tear glands are not producing enough tears. Certain medical conditions or medicines can cause dry eyes.
Another problem is not being able to drain the tears, so the eyes can get too full of liquid. This may happen because someone has a blocked tear duct. Babies can be born with blocked lacrimal ducts. They usually open on their own, but some babies need a small operation to clear the ducts.
So now you know what your eyes are up to when they get all wet. It’s such a beautiful story, it brought tears to our eyes!
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Kids Talk About Stress
By D’Arcy Lyness, PhD
Sept. 13, 2009
Every kid (and adult) worries and feels stressed out sometimes. But what do kids do about it? We wanted to find out, so we asked 875 kids ages 9 to 13 to answer some questions about stress.
First, we let kids choose from a long list of stuff that might worry them. The top five things kids said they worried about were:
- Grades, school, and homework — 36%
- Family — 32%
- Friends — 21%
- Brothers and sisters — 20%
- Mean or annoying people — 20%
Then we asked kids what they do during those times when they feel stressed or upset. Here are the top things kids said they do most often. (Kids who answered could say more than one thing, so these add up to more than 100%.)
Playing or doing something active — 52%
Listening to music — 44%
Watching TV or playing a video game — 42%
That’s good news. Playing, listening to music, watching TV, or playing a video game are often good things to do if you’re stressed out. You get a chance to think about something else. Being active — like running around, playing a sport, or riding your bike — may be the best choice of all of these. Why? It’s a good way to let out some of that energy that builds up when a person is frustrated, mad, stressed, or upset. Plus, exercise releases chemicals in your brain that help improve your mood.
What Else Do Kids Do?
Here are some other ways kids said they often deal with feeling upset:
Talk to a friend. Right on! Friends can be good listeners and might know just what to say to make you laugh or feel a little better than you did before. Sometimes you might want to talk to a parent or another grown-up, too.
Try not to think about it. If it’s just a little thing that got you stressed, this can work fine. Sometimes it’s best not to let a little thing bother you. But if it’s a bigger problem, not thinking about it is probably not the best choice. It can be OK to take a break from worrying or stressing out about something, but pretending like it’s not a problem isn’t a good idea. Why? Because nothing changes and the problem might stick around — or get worse.
Try to work things out. A great idea! What could be better than trying to solve the problem? Even if you can’t solve the whole thing, with help, maybe you can start solving some part of it.
Eat something. Not such a good idea. Food’s fine when you’re truly hungry. But if you use food to help you feel better, you might eat more calories than you need and gain weight. It also doesn’t solve whatever problem upset you in the first place.
Lose my temper. Oh, dear. It’s OK to feel angry, but losing your temper and yelling and screaming is never a good idea. It also doesn’t help solve your problem — and can make matters worse.
Feel bad about myself. Oh, dear — again. Everyone has troubles and problems — that’s perfectly normal — but sometimes kids blame themselves for the troubles they have. They might feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed if they’ve done something they know is wrong, or if they didn’t do well. But don’t let yourself get stuck in the mud of bad feelings. After all, you’re still learning, like everyone else. By working through troubles, often with help from others, you can find your inner strength. When this happens, you’ll feel better about yourself and will be more optimistic the next time you have a problem. Try to forgive yourself for whatever went wrong. Then try to fix the problem or do better next time. Ask for help with this part if you need to.
Talk to a parent. A super idea! Kids should know they don’t have to face their problems alone. Parents love you and often have good ideas for how to solve a problem. Even if it’s a hard problem to solve, just talking to a parent can help you feel better.
Keep it to myself. This is sometimes OK, sometimes not OK. Kids deserve some privacy and don’t need to tell the whole world about what they’re feeling. But keeping a problem to yourself can lead to trouble. If no one else knows about it, no one can help you.
Cry. This is always sad, but not necessarily a bad thing. Everyone cries sometimes — boys, girls, teenagers, parents, teachers, and even the toughest person you know. Crying is a way to release the tension and upset feelings inside. But too much crying can be a problem if it keeps you from getting control of yourself and trying to figure out what to do next. In other words, there’s a time to cry and there’s a time to get busy!
Some Kids Hurt Themselves
By now, you can see that some ways of handling stress are better for you than others. Sadly, some kids said they hurt themselves when they are feeling upset. About 25% said they banged their head or another body part or did something like biting themselves, cutting themselves, or pulling their own hair.
Kids usually do this because they get so angry or upset that they don’t know what to do. They might feel mad or frustrated and feel like taking it out on themselves. It can be an impulse — something a person does almost without thinking. You probably already know that this doesn’t solve the problem. Even worse, a kid could get injured.
If you’ve ever hurt yourself, try taking these steps next time instead.
Talk to a parent.
Call a friend.
Drink a glass of water.
Take a shower.
Go outside and play.
Watch TV.
Play with a pet.
Draw, scribble, or color designs on paper.
Rip up some paper.
Listen to music that will shift your mood.
If you know someone who hurts himself or herself when upset, tell a grown-up so the kid can learn how to stop doing this.
Sometimes, kids have seen adults take their anger out on themselves or on someone else. Of course, they shouldn’t — but sometimes grown-ups make mistakes, too. When adults yell or scream or hit a wall, they set a bad example for kids who need to learn to control their own tempers. Kids might imitate adults who do this and not realize there are other ways to cope with stressful feelings. The good news is that adults can learn new things, too. It’s never too late to manage your temper.
Parents Can Be Key
Only about 1 in 5 kids said they talk to a parent when they’re upset, but a whopping 75% of kids said they’d like their parents to help them in times of stress. Here’s how kids said parents could help:
Talk together.
Help them feel better, like with a hug.
Give them attention; do something together.
Help them solve the problem.
Stop yelling.
Don’t make them feel worse.
Help get their minds off the problem.
Pray with them.
Sometimes parents might feel like kids don’t want them to get involved. That’s why it’s good to talk to a parent — even if all you want to say is that this problem is going on and that you’d like to try to solve it on your own. More often, you might want your mom or dad to offer ideas or at least a little encouragement.
You can return the favor by being extra nice to your mom or dad the next time he or she is feeling stressed out. You could draw a card, give an extra hug, or clean your room without being asked. Then your parent may be too surprised to feel stressed!
What’s a KidsPoll?
To get this information about kids and stress, we conducted a KidsPoll. This means we asked an equal number of boys and girls a bunch of questions about stress. They answered the questions on handheld data devices while visiting these health education centers and children’s museums:
HealthWorks! Kids Museum — South Bend, Indiana
Health World Children’s Museum — Barrington, Illinois
Poe Center for Health Education — Raleigh, North Carolina
Robert Crown Center for Health Education — Hinsdale, Illinois
Ruth Lilly Health Education Center — Indianapolis, Indiana
Susan P. Byrnes Health Education Center — York, Pennsylvania
A poll, like the KidsPoll, gives researchers a bunch of information to look at. Instead of knowing how just a few people feel, they know how a lot of people feel. They can look at the way the entire group answered. They calculate how many — or what percentage — answered “yes” to this question and “no” to that one. Polls give us clues about how most people — not just the ones who answered the poll questions — feel about certain issues.
We’ll be conducting more KidsPolls in the future to find out what kids say — maybe you’ll be part of one!
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
What Kids Say About School
By Larissa Hirsch, MD
September 5, 2009
It’s that time of year. The new school year is getting going — or already has — for millions of kids. We know everyone likes summer vacation more, but when we asked kids if they liked school, would you believe many of them said …YES?
No, they don’t love each second, every pop quiz and art project gone wrong. But on most days, 65% of kids said they liked school a lot (25%) or some (40%).
But what about the other 35%? We asked 965 kids, so that means about 337 kids were not happy on schooldays. On most days, 13% of those kids said they disliked it some and 22% said they disliked school a lot. That’s a problem considering many kids spend 180 days a year in school.
Boys Are Less Happy
Girls were generally happier than boys, with 29% of girls saying they liked school a lot compared with 21% of boys. Similarly, 44% of girls said they liked school some, while only 35% of boys said that.
When it came to disliking school, here’s how kids answered:
I dislike school some: 14% boys; 13% girls
I dislike school a lot: 30% boys; 14% girls
If kids aren’t happy at school, it’s usually because of some problem — or a group of problems. It could be low grades, trouble with friends, or problems at home. Kids can find help by talking to a counselor, teacher, or another adult at school. But more than half of the kids said they would find it difficult or impossible to use this kind of help.
Without seeking help, kids are less likely to solve the problems they’re having. Grades may get worse, a bully may keep on bullying, and worry over a family situation could keep getting in the way.
It Can Be Hard to Ask for Help
Boys, who are more likely to dislike school, also are the least likely to seek out help from a school counselor or staff member. Overall, about 60% of kids said it would be at least a little hard to talk to a school official about their problems. But twice as many boys as girls said they would never talk to an adult at school about their problems.
Doctors and other experts say that kids might not seek help for the following reasons:
“I don’t want to talk to a stranger.”
“I don’t think anyone can help me.”
“I don’t want my friends to know.”
But here are some good reasons to seek help anyway:
Talking to a stranger: It can feel a little weird to open up to someone you don’t know. But school staff aren’t exactly strangers. They’re trained (and paid) to help kids at your school — and that means helping kids with problems.
Thinking no one can help: It’s normal to feel sad if you have a tough problem to solve. But counselors, in particular, are experts in helping kids. Even if they can’t solve your problem right away, they can help you make a plan and they can invite other people in to help.
Not wanting to be different: If your school makes it super-obvious that you’re going to see the counselor, it might make you feel a little weird. (For instance, if you have to carry a fluorescent orange hall pass.) You can look for alternative ways to communicate with the counselor. You might call from home, write a note, or send an email.
Your mom or dad also could offer to call the counselor for you. If your counselor wants to meet at school, you can do it before school, after school, or at some time other than class. Also remember that you don’t have to tell people that you are seeing the counselor or what you’re seeing the counselor about. It might help to practice what you plan to say if someone asks you why you’re going.
If you start talking about a problem and beginning to solve it, you just might find you don’t dislike school so much anymore. You might start noticing that school is the place where your friends make you laugh, you learn new things, and your locker opens on the first try — at least on most days!
What’s a KidsPoll?
The group that took this KidsPoll included an almost equal number of boys and girls who were between 9 and 13 years old. They answered the questions on handheld data devices while visiting these health education centers and children’s museums:
Children’s Health Education Center — Milwaukee, Wisconsin
HealthWorks! Kids Museum — South Bend, Indiana
Health World Children’s Museum — Barrington, Illinois
Kansas Learning Center for Health Education — Halstead, Kansas
Lilly Health Education Center — Indianapolis, Indiana
McMillen Center for Health Education — Ft. Wayne, Indiana
Weller Health Education Center — Eaton, Pennsylvania
A poll, like the KidsPoll, asks people a list of questions. Then researchers compile all the answers and look at the way the group answered. They calculate how many (or what percentage) answered “yes” to this question and “no” to that one. Polls give us clues about how most people, not just the ones who answered the poll questions, feel about certain issues. We’ll be conducting more KidsPolls in the future to find out what kids say — maybe you’ll be part of one!
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com
Kids Think About Arguing
by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD
August 23, 2009
People don’t always get along, and when they don’t, it’s called conflict. We wanted to know more the arguments and disagreements kids have, so we did a KidsPoll to find out.
We asked 1,245 boys and girls ages 9 to 13 about conflict and here’s what they said:
- There’s plenty of arguing going on — 38% of kids said arguments occur in their home every day; 26% said it happens every week.
- More than half of kids (56%) said they argue most with brothers and sisters.
- For some, fights get physical. About a quarter of the kids (26%) say they usually hit or get in a physical fight when they argue with another kid.
But it wasn’t all bad news. A third of the kids also had this to say:
- When they’re in an argument, they try to talk or work it out.
- They’d like some help from adults to work out their differences.
Let’s start with those brother and sister squabbles. It’s normal and natural to disagree with your siblings. And it makes perfect sense that kids argue most with brothers and sisters. Kids spend lots of time with siblings and they feel more comfortable with them — two conditions that make arguing more likely.
Arguing with siblings can become so normal that, just like breathing, you might do it naturally without even thinking of it. But that doesn’t mean lots of arguing is OK. (Just ask your parents!) And it’s never OK to hit or get in a physical fight with a sibling — or anyone else, for that matter.
If you’d like to argue less with siblings (and everyone else), follow these three steps:
Control your temper. This is one of the true secrets to arguing less. So often, kids (and adults) let their tempers take control. Before you know it, they’ve done or said something that they don’t mean and wish they could take back. Staying calm and polite makes it easier to resolve conflicts and helps the other person stay in control, too.
Seek out adults when you need them. It’s great when kids can work out their differences without needing mom or dad to be the referee every time. But sometimes parents or other adults are helpful. They can enforce some basic rules, like “no hitting or name-calling allowed.” They also can remind kids of other rules that have been set in the house, like you can’t go into your sibling’s room without asking first.
Try to see the other person’s side. Everyone says to do this, but how? The next time you’re arguing with someone, take a time-out and switch sides. You take the other person’s side and he or she will take yours. State the argument just as the other person has been stating it and try to understand what the point is.
For example, if Jane and Mark were fighting over the last cupcake, Jane would have to make Mark’s point about how he only got one cupcake so far. And Mark would have to make Jane’s argument about how the last cupcake should be hers because they were from her birthday party. Once you’ve stated the other person’s side, ask: “Did I get it right?”
You might be thinking that resolving an argument this way is going to take a lot of time. It can take a while, but it’s well worth it. After all that talking it out and trying to understand each other, Jane and Mark were probably ready to split that last cupcake! Mmmm!
What’s a KidsPoll?
The group that took this KidsPoll included an almost equal number of boys and girls. They answered the questions on handheld data devices while visiting these health education centers and children’s museums:
- CDC Global Health Odyssey — Atlanta, Georgia
- Children’s Health Education Center — Milwaukee, Wisconsin
- Health World Children’s Museum — Barrington, Illinois
- Hult Education Center — Peoria, Illinois
- Kansas Learning Center — Halstead, Kansas
- McMillen Center for Health Education — Ft. Wayne, Indiana
- Poe Center for Health Education — Raleigh, North Carolina
- Robert Crown Center for Health Education — Hinsdale, Illinois
- Ruth Lilly Health Education Center — Indianapolis, Indiana
- Weller Health Education Center — Easton, Pennsylvania
A poll, like the KidsPoll, asks people a list of questions. Then researchers compile all the answers and look at the way the group answered. They calculate how many — or what percentage — answered “yes” to this question and “no” to that one. Polls give us clues about how most people — not just the ones who answered the poll questions — feel about certain issues. We’ll be conducting more KidsPolls in the future to find out what kids say — maybe you’ll be part of one!
Source: Kids Health
Editor’s Note: We would like to know what you think? dan@youngchronicle.com